Milestone Day

mile·stone ~ a significant event or stage in the life, progress, development.

Yesterday, Luke's 7th birthday shall go down in my history as a milestone event. Not only cos 7 year ago we were practically homeless when he came into the world, just him and me in a cold empty hospital room, and now we have our own home that is warm and cosy and so filled with love and affection. 

With grandma & grandpa

With Godpa, Godpa and all their other cousins

But because for the 1st time since then, his birthday was celebrated with his family member from both sides.

With Uncle Adam and Aunt Eve

If you can’t call that reaching a milestone in life, I don’t know what else would qualify!

April's Fool

Time flies ... two years have come and gone ... but I'm not sad about the time passed ... cos we're still here. 

We're still here.

Taking Stock

I'm sitting here and trying to catch a moment to take stock of the on-goings. Unfortunately, it has been an attempt that has been in progress for the last 10 minutes of so.

I am not sure if the trends have changed again. It some how feels too good to be true - this fueling of my sales spirit. Right up to the weekend, we have been processing applications and moving things forward towards the admissions line. And I must say, from where I am standing, even with some generous sprinkling of pessimism, it is still looking good.

"Don't count your chickens before your eggs hatch" - that is the golden rule I learnt from last year. Perhaps that harsh lesson was so traumatic that I have applied it to every instance, blocking out a lot of realities even though it is already there, right in front of my face.

Don't get me wrong. I am most certainly pleased. This is after all what every person with ambition and drive strives for in their career. Reflecting on my professional journey, in a place filled with many professional memories - I have come a long way. Never for once, way back then, did I ever think I'd stand in the same ballroom where an "Umph" (as a sign of assent) was eagerly awaited upon, and hear my own private limited company's name being mentioned, signalling the beginning of a new chapter.

I feel blessed. I AM BLESSED. 

Breathe in, breathe out 

There's only now 

And all I got, I'm holding in my hands 

We're breaking out of 

Brokenpromiseland 

Pillars

A few weeks ago, at a function, when one of my Irish friends introduced me to this young lady and asked if I could help mentor her in her business, my first thoughts were "Wow - and there I was thinking her husband was so damn hot as the guitarist of the band!"

We met for the first time today, for a proper sit down discussion after being on email for about a week, and I must say, I walked away from it, feeling as if I have been the one handed the gift, and not the other way around.

Very rarely do we find young people, in this day and age, who are willing to go the distance, in fulfilling what they want to do deep down inside. Having read their (her husband and her's) story, and this dream they have created, I am really psyched to be allowed a part of this.

And I do this cos it's time I start taking some of my own medicine.. as I told Ben early Monday morning - time to start believing you're capable of so much more than what you're paid to do. "Believe I can fly... I can touch the sky.. Be as big as Sly...But more importantly, always believe in truth and not lies... for they are the pillar of life."

And the way they are living their lives - it's the truth. So if the foundations they have built on is a bit weak, no harm in my helping prop it up whatever way I can. It's not everyday that I get the honour of meeting people who dare to dream and are honest and humble to admit that they are in the midst of pursuing their dream.

Miles We Walk

It’s not every day that you witness the depth of a friend’s love for you.

I remember once, some time back, at the very beginnings of a relationship, I kinda made him sit down and watch one – just one episode of the show. I think what I told him then was that if he wanted to understand me, and how my mind works, he should at least watch one episode. He didn’t last 15 minutes. [Yes we're talking about you Bear :o)]

The supposed way of that wind blowing didn’t work out, but hell, he did spend quite a number of nights and mornings sitting on balconies and porches, wondering “Why?!” was I doing the things I was doing. And while we’re still good friends, I think he’s taken the easy way out of “You should know yourself better and what would work for you.”

Recalling that instant, today I was blown away when bff Mandy told me she took all her Grey’s dvd and watched it over again cos I was always referring to the show and making comparisons between the goggle life and the real life.

But from that moment on, not that I ever doubted it, I knew that no matter what, Mandy will always have my back, as I would always have hers.

It is rare to be able to pinpoint a moment when something changes ~ it’s not as easy as telling which way the wind is blowing where there are physical visual evidence to back your deduction.

And so I’ll say it again - It’s not every day that you witness the depth of a friend’s love for you.

Thank you *hugz*

Count Your Blessings

We should always make a list of our blessings so that it reminds us that at the end of the day - there's always a silver lining to every cloud. So here goes, mine for the days:

1) Having a really good conversation with my higher authority at 5 where He 'smacked' me on the head and literally said - 'Quit whining, I hear ya already!'

2) Having my bff reassure me (inadvertently) that she is my bff for a reason ~ yes, Mandy figured it all out what is this 'hell' I'm in right now. It's quite an incredible feeling, to know that there is someone out there, close to you, who can read you like an open book, even though you've completely shut down.

3) Doing a solid day of work and getting majority of the bits completed even though deadline is a week away. This is a huge improvement considering I've been like Facebooking 8 hours straight for the last 2 weeks or so.

4) Managing to complete a 2-mile run and doing the distant of another 1 mile on the stepper machine ~ big pat on back, especially today I find out that a few years ago, some of my friends actually was shocked I had 'let myself go' physically and did not say a word to me *hrumph* Well, with the grand plan to go back to 5 hours of yoga a week, this is a good head start. Target goal - trousers have got to start falling off again (which means the 3rd trip to the alteration tailor) and the weighing scale to read 55 kg.

5) Getting that notification that I am one of three winners for this blog contest organised weekly by a certain bookshop. This one is utterly blowing me away cos it was written a long time ago and written for the Shooter. To think that the Shooter's words came be deemed as "a lovely piece" ~ *ah* heaven!

As Paulo Coelho wrote on his blog: Each and every morning brings a hidden blessing, a blessing that is only good for that particular day, for it cannot be kept or re-used. If we don't take advantage of this miracle today, it will be lost.

So yes, while there is still this nagging thought at the back of my mind that goes "why isn't the phone beeping?" or "why is there no reply?", it is not driving me crazy-up-the-wall or to my freezer where a full bottle of vodka lie sleeping.

I'm a work-in-progress but for once I am conscious of it and I am not pushing that self-destruct button.

With that, though we're only entitled to one blessing each morning, I had 5 miracles that followed.

On Her Way

A lot of my friends have been telling me that I should not underestimate just how much Lydia understand about the way things are around her. I guess it's not so much that I did not believe them, but rather, I was more concerned that if she did understand her family structure, it would tell me more than I am able to handle right now.

Me and a couple of my closest persons have been very worried and distraught each time she has one of her meltdowns. Her latest told me that it wasn't so much the departure of person(s) in her life that is high on her list - but rather the fact of not having 'one' when all her friends do.

I've been speaking on mail with a colleague who is a retired psychologist with grown children of his own. His wife and him have very kindly been sharing their time with me on comforting emails, filled with gems of their experiences - professional and personal, in a grandparently manner. And their advise was simply this: 

1. It was alright to talk it out. It was NOT alright to sweep it under the carpet.
2. It was alright to not know what to say at times as a parent. It was NOT alright to pretend I knew everything and fib about it just to make the story flow.

So that's what I've been doing. Not pretending that her crying didn't upset me. Not pretending that she was in a normal family structure. Not pretending that her concerns were not real. And it appears to be working.

This weekend, Lydia brought a form home from Sunday School - it's the same form that I've been completing for her the past 3 years since she started. Today, the form was different - the was a 'dash' in the space marked "Father's Details." As she gave it to me with the instructions to fill up the rest, she casually added what she had done, following it with "because he's not coming back."

As simple as that. No fuss. No hysterics. No mama-dramas of any sort.

And yesterday, she asked if her dad and I had "broken up." Caught off-guard with a head full of shampoo, I uttered a miserably soft "yes" with a much louder "Where did you learn that phrase from?!" She decided not to answer me but instead tell me that it was alright - people get over it and meet over people. Ah life according to Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers and High School Musical. 

Once upon a time, I did not think that my girl and I would reach a point where we could brooch this subject in this slightly non-chalant manner. But we're there.

I guess, the hopes of Gilmore Girls can still be hung on to. After all, as Mandy says - Rory and Lorelai always comes back stronger than before.

Empty Diary

"Normality? You've gotta be kidding me! We both know that your "normal" is off the scale from everyone else's!" was the comment on my Facebook status this morning.

Okay so, yeah perhaps, I'll admit inasmuch that what is normal in my world, may be slightly abnormal in many others. But that's the beauty of it isn't it ~ my slow day would still give you laughs on your really slow days.

Whatever the definition may be, I am just glad to be looking at my calendar for the next 2 months and not breaking out into cold sweats on how one thing is piling up on top of the other. The only excitement that we will be looking forward too in the coming months:

1. The baptism of my 1st (and likely to be!) god-son Gabriel (and it has to be said that I am only gonna be the Godma by virtue of Gab being my brother's son *hahahaha* No one else in their sane mind would entrust their child's spiritual upbringing to me otherwise!!)
2. The dinner reception of Sen & Nat which promises to be an absolute meat-feast since it's being held at Carnaval Churrascaria. Running up to it, I must say I have a strong feeling it's gonna be another one of those weddings where no invitation cards are issued (*ahem* Mandy - yes, we're talking about you!) and one person is gonna be either instant messaging or texting another asking "What time is it starting?!"
3. My turning .. erm.. erm... *does mental calculation fo 2009 minus 1975* .. yeah - 34. Which is a really weird feeling as the year(s) progresses. How could the number of candles on the cake be increasing when I think I mentally feel younger than I did when I was say, 28?!

So yeah, only 3 items on the list and I am so grateful for it. But don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining cos the organised chaos of the last few months were in fact quite excellent. And having it culminate in the bestest dinner and dance reception ever over the weekend - it can continue to be hazy till September, but it's not gonna rock my boat cos that one night is going down in my books as the wedding of this lifetime!

Let's just hope I recover on time to be able to clearly say "I will" at the baptism!

A Round Table

It was meant to an Annual General Meeting. Yet, I think most of us braved the rain for an evening of free food, free booze and camaraderie.

And it was well worth it too. But then again, I probably gravitated to the right people.

I have just spent my wet Wednesday with a roomful of almost strangers at a pretty rustic spot in town. A round table of characters, half of whom whose names I don't even remember! But then again, when you have things like caffeine, nicotine and booze in common - who really needs name!

A year ago, I didn't think I'd be spending my evenings finding pleasure in such pursuits. But these folks are from a different bolt of cloth. They are Irish!

So while we've only seen each other a month or so, I'm pretty certain that over time, we'd have more fun (and booze!) than most friends would have had in their lifetime!

Here's to Jon, Paul, Michael, Anne and the dude whose name I never got! And Michael - here's hoping you don't mess up another St Patrick's Day Ball with mis-texts!

How Did She Get In There?

"How did she get in there?" was apparently the question my grandma raised to my brother earlier this evening.

I'm the only one of her grandkids to not be back home this year. But I beat the "system" by sending her a video message. And I'm glad I did cos that way, she's at least "seen" me this New Year.

Years ago, when I was attached to a mobile applications company (way before GPRS was called GPRS and Celcom ran it by the name of Datatac and the handsets were like bricks), we had a BHAG of connecting a billion lives through technology.

Back then, which was about 7 years ago, it was a Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

Today - it's just simply Technology.

And I'm glad we thought of that BHAG .. cos it allowed me to bring some laughs to my grandma today.

From the Heights

Hello all.

I’m writing to you from my new study in my new home. Amazing, the move was completed in under 3 hours. And in sure Barbsie style, loaded with excitement.

Not having spent a night here, I have already had to ring for a locksmith. For some strange reason, my front door locked on its own and we (The Bear and I), couldn’t get the key going. But ah – what’s Barbsie in a new home, without locking herself out eh?

So far, almost all the rooms are done. And for once, nothing is left in a box. I’ve even got two living area! And yes, it is done in such a manner, it shows off the space that I now have.

I am very proud and pleased with myself, I must say. It was no mean feat, accomplishing this.

And on that note, a very, Very, VERY BIG “THANK YOU” goes out to the Bear who lived true to his word of helping me move!

Come on round soonish ya? Right after I reload my fridge with foodie!

The Art of Giving

It's the Christmas season. My buddy - the Bear - has been busy doing up his gifts buying. I, on the other hand, have barely started. And I doubt I will get very far. It is afterall, the Great Recession!

But more importantly than the price tag or the brand label, one question I always ask myself at occasions such as these would be ~ what can I give that could encapsulate how much the receiver means to me?!

Most of my recipients are kids. So I can almost always get away with murder. But for the adults ~ it's not so cut and dried. And it's the men that's always the hardest.

Which is probably why this year I have decided that the best chappies in my life do not get store-bought stuff. Might take a lil bit more work and effort on my part. But then again, one doesn't become the best of the best for no reason.

Hopefully on Christmas morn, when they individually unwrap their gifts in their own homes, it'll bring a smile to their faces and the thought of "This is so Barbsie!"

That would be so achieving the art of giving for me :o)

Does it Matter?

I finished up work today and rung the LegalBeagle out for tea. He was afterall already chilling at the Bucks. Plus I didn't feel like coming back to an empty house and the thought of a hot latte on a chilly day was too darn appealing to ignore.

At this point I have to make note that this is blog worthy simply cause LB and I have never met. We didn't even know what each other looked like or talked on the phone. All we've ever done was chat online.

As I was taking my shower after I got home, I was trying (and still am!) to recall - where and how did we ever come across each other? I mean, this so-called virtual friendship has evolved to this point that the beginning doesn't quite matter.

I'm not one of those people who make friends easily. I have lines clearly marked and drawn and each person is slot into one of the many categories. It's a sad thing but life is complicated enough without weighing it down with the even more complicated thing called "relationship" of any sorts.

So I am glad that today I finally meet face-to-face a kindred spirit (not that he is as antisocial as I am) - kindred in the sense that he is one of those who is able to accept and not judge, nor try to change.

So yes - you've been marked and crossed out for a space called "friends" in Barbsie's books now *grin* See - you should've thought twice before accepting that hug! Till the next coffee and secondary smoke session, where I will tipperty-tap out conversation lines to you as you sit across and sip your coffee!

Bumper Stickers

4 years ago, on my 29th birthday, Pups and I came up with this fantastic line, inspired by one too many brandy-soaked moraschino cherries. We thought it'd be great as a bumper sticker ~ It didn't quite qualify for being a Hallmark card cos of the 18SX implication.

Imagine - 4 years on, the phrase gets inspired to mind once again! Must be a sign to finally get them printed.

*grin* It's been a great day and a great year. Nothing beats a birthday that's come early!

Sex in the City

I decided yesterday that after missing 3 cars on the road, due to my own neglect, nothing could really go wrong with the day. No – I didn’t see no peeky-pok-cutes in the trees enroute to Banting (which is past the airport by the way). And so it was a day of almost kicking back and taking it easy.

~**~

Did my 1st proper enquiries session and 3 hours later, with aching feet - I’m glad to report that Barbsie is back in the saddle again. It wasn’t all that stressful as the kids I met yesterday are all scholars, bound for Ireland as it is. And so, it was more of telling the kids what to go out and expect. Some of them were focused and all out there. But some were well and truly lost. And I couldn’t help thinking that this is the crème de la crème!

I knew I was in like Flint with the group cos they kept asking if I had an email address they could write me at, or if they could have my business card. AND the funniest bit would have to be how most of them looked at our company name and jumped to the conclusion that I was the unis’ rep FROM Ireland! *lol* When I said I was from JB, Johor – their jaws dropped. I dunno what was so “Irish” about me but they kept going on that I didn’t speak like a Malaysian. *lol*

~**~

I finally watched Sex in the City – The moofey on DVD.

A fictional tale of 4 women, each successful in their own right, living up the high lives in New York City.

I’ve never been a fan of the series – can’t really remember ever sitting thru one full episode either ~ I’m quite the loyalist when it comes to being a series-addict. There’s only so much space for one female character and it’s been Meredith Grey all this while. Yet last night I watched the whole movie version of it mesmorised.

I can more or less identify why people all over the world, for a great many years, stayed glued week after week. Afterall, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha live the lives that every girl aspires to live – independent, successful, beautiful and confident. Make it all happen in New York and that’s a double whammy. And the icing on that cake would be the friendship and love of good friends.

A sidetrack - New York is one big fascination of mine – the buzz, the lights, and the endless motion. I have been told by Monday who lived and worked there for a year, that it’s not all as great as it’s painted to be. But then again, Monday is the kind of guy who wants more out of life than just slaving away.

Anyways, while the hype on the movie was quite about the fashion, I thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie the ladies had. I could only wish I had a circle of friends like they do. Though, if I really think about it – I do. We might not hang out everyday like these ladies do, but they are there.

~**~

I have been thinking a lot lately about my circle of friends and I realize that I have been too hard on them as well. I’ve not been adaptive enough or humble enough. And if I allowed them, they will surprise me in their own way.

But anyways, tonight – I’ll be having my own sex in the city (shame on you if you’re thinking of something else that involves creaking bed springs!!!) Tonight, we will form a circle at a table somewhere, to usher in a new year for one of us.

Cos that’s what friends do – they sit with you at the curbside when your world falls down, they dish out advice to you, saying the things you don’t wanna hear cos if they don’t, no one else will, and they come together to toast the day that you were born. For without it – you wouldn’t be here today to share a laugh, a tear, a cuppa teh tarik and some recipes with.

So here's an early toast - Happy birthday GarlicBoy! May this year bring you the things that you seek! *Ahem* AND lotsa sex in THIS city *grin* Have a good one Ballz!

Off the Couch Allez!

I'm not sure if I'm having the onsets of a migraine or a baby-hangover if there is ever such a thing! I'd like to think it's the former cos if it was the latter, I'm gonna be kind stumped cos I only had 4 watered down vodka redbulls at Raw.. and WHAT IS 4 vodkas for Barbsie eh?!

Nonetheless, what was intended to be a quiet outing to the neighbourhood mamak with Garlic, turned out to be another mid-week-party-like-a-rockstar outing with Garlic and Whites.

You've gotta hand it to Whites for sussing out the on-goings in this city that he doesn't quite belong to. And you've gotta hand it to Garlic for knowing the right people who gets you into private parties and such.

But these days (or nights!) are gonna be winding down pretty soon as Whites head on back to the mountains (pronounced mont-tanes) that he hails from. *Sob* *Sob* *Sniff* *Sniff* .... I sure am gonna miss that dude!

And finally, here's a picture of my 2 dudes... who is who - I'll leave it to ya to figure out *grin*

I have to say, despite the 1 dwarf thumping away in my head right now, I can't think of a better way to end the month of July and mark the month of August! It was about time someone told me to Get Me Butt Off The Couch! Allez!

Frozen In Time

Fresh off somebody's phone memory card... pics of my last 48 hours with Swiss Concept / Prince Court...And it's only appearing here simply because no one can really believe the egg-flour-curry-wash story!

This was Monday - in the Raw Food Kitchen - before the curry / Maggi-smelling soup came a-raining down on me... Yes - I had a hairnet on and WhiteBoy claims some form of pardon for that bit - of saving the prawn legs from getting in my hair by suggesting I wear I hairnet.

This was the dinner itself. And no, my shirt is not that deep a shade of red! And yes, if my smile looked stiff - well, that's what you get for having some 30-raw eggs pelted at ya.

These pictures - memories frozen in time... which I will call up on my computer once in a while (tho I hope the memory recall doesn't bring with it the smells!!)... just to remind myself that I was once a part of a very big happy family!

Love ya guys bunches!!!

What a Party!

It was glitzy, snazzy and there was a champagne fountain. I was led to the room's closet and told that I could wear anything in there that i wanted! And that I had half an hour to get ready as all the other guests had already arrived and the party was under-way. To speed things up, the butler (who looked curiously like the butler from Different Strokes) thought I should tell him what my poison was, so it could be ready when I went down.

Apparently Bear decided to splurge out - and splurge out he did, judging by the people in the room (none of whom I recognised except from American TV) and all the great foodie and drinks that were going around. *Wowzers* seriously!

I must say, I didn't know what the occassion was, but hey - a party is a party is a party and I was having a blast of a time! That was UNTIL James' Sit Down drifted thru the sound system and it dawned on me... Hot damn! It was only a dream!

*Sigh* Nonetheless, thanks for "inviting" me Bear to what I think was your 50th birthday bash :o)

A Happy Summary

The weekend's come and gone.. and here's a round up of happy notes:

1. Lydia and Luke's debut as Lil Tandoor Chefs. Brought them round to the office for the last time so they can say their goodbyes and my boy, Asyraf decided to teach them how to do the naan bread. Brings a whole new meaning to knowledge transfer, considering Asyraf himself learnt it from the chap who was cleaning the floor for us way back then.
2. Like a mother-hen preparing for the child to leave home for the 1st time, I went and got small stuff that my boys and girls have been lacking. A bit late in the day, but well - at least this will tie them over for a bit.
3. I finally bought myself a proper astray, after living with the bottom half of the mosquito coil tin can for the longest time. Yeah - it's plain, it's white and it's less than 3 bucks. So much for agonising over what my 1st astray should be.

It's gonna be a great week. It has to be - it's my last at the original place of bad-ju-ju. And as insurance against the BJJ, there's chocolate sauce and 2 squeezy bottles for tomorrow.

Creative Thinking

Should have posted this days ago... just didn't get round to it... But here's creative thinking for ya!

The game is called RushHour and the objective is to move the red car out of the grid by moving other cars around. This was challenge # 36 and this was the solution to a really blocked grid.

If you can't figure out what's wrong with the picture - you're probably not doing very well on the roads, when it rains and it's rush-hour *grin*