Free Lunch

I was taught that you're never in a position to demand until you've proven your worth. It is because of this that I often put everything else on hold while I make my bones. Today, someone told me I didn't deserve my lunch. If it came from anyone else, I could perhaps swollow it. But no. I've earned my lunch IN THE SHORT TIME I've been here. You, sadly screwed up yours. So thanks, but you keep your silver platter. I'm happy using my paper plate.

Milestone Day

mile·stone ~ a significant event or stage in the life, progress, development.

Yesterday, Luke's 7th birthday shall go down in my history as a milestone event. Not only cos 7 year ago we were practically homeless when he came into the world, just him and me in a cold empty hospital room, and now we have our own home that is warm and cosy and so filled with love and affection. 

With grandma & grandpa

With Godpa, Godpa and all their other cousins

But because for the 1st time since then, his birthday was celebrated with his family member from both sides.

With Uncle Adam and Aunt Eve

If you can’t call that reaching a milestone in life, I don’t know what else would qualify!

Dry Heaving

Have you ever been consume by the feeling of contradiction? Where the notion of moving forward is so exhausting, yet the thought of moving backwards seems like such a waste? I'm over-wrought to the point my body has broken down on me, in more ways than one. Ben reminds me that it's better for it to be happening for something that is my own. But I remind him, IT WOULD ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS! Sigh. It makes me wonder if the trade off is worth it.

Dots

I guess my thoughts are in shambles because.. for once.. I am truly conscious of the fact.. that I am 1) at peace, 2) happy and 3) contented with what I have. And it is a scary thought / place to be in. 

There we go - the dots connected.

This is Barbsie - fighting hard not to be "dark and twisted" and embrace being "whole and healed".

How Do...

Here's what in my head right now:

How do you know if someone is happy - as in 'joyful' happy? We can ask - but often than naught, no one wants to admit that they are unhappy.

Why is it that we assume that if someone is attached, as in married, there is no longer the need to ask them If they are happy? Is it set in stone that once you're fixed for life, happiness is a given thing?

When does the course of one's future changes? Is there a specific moment in time that you can pinpoint as the exact moment when the course you thought you were set for, changes?

It's a whole bunch of gibberish and I'm trying to connect the dots - if there exists one.

April's Fool

Time flies ... two years have come and gone ... but I'm not sad about the time passed ... cos we're still here. 

We're still here.