What About The Rest?

Our local papers has almost reached tabloid status with the recent incident that raised a whole lot of suspicions on "acceptable practices to persons in custody."

I have no particular comment on the mysterious circumstances surrounding the findings of a certain body, 9 stories below where the authorities had left him in the wee hours of the morning. A multitude of reasons could be the cause of a person "falling" out the window.

I do have particular sentiments on the sensationalisation of everything else that ensued afterwards. It is quite disgusting that almost a week on, pages and pages of print are still being devoted to it. And my most serious point of contention would be that of how everyone is rallying around a lady, that was virtually unknown right up to the point the man in her life fell out the window.

She has my utmost sympathy - don't get me wrong. To lose a loved one is tragic. To love a loved on the day before you get married is just soul-breaking. To love the father of your unborn child - even I would not wish that upon those I hate most.

But I must say, everyone caught up in the whirlwind of standing in for her lost knight in shining armour is getting to me just that wee bit. And the bee in today's bonnet would be Wanita MCA's call to the National Registration Department to allow her to register her unborn child's birth certificate in the name of her dead fiancee UNDER HUMANITARIAN GROUNDS.

Now the NRD and I are quite familiar with each other because I've been badgering them to allow my children to be illegitimate. Afterall, if their biological dad do not wish to acknowledge them after deciding he would, hey - who are they to insist that Lydia and Luke should have a father?

So yes, I fully subscribed to the fact that some of their rules ought to be changed. But that it should be done AFTER a due process of consideration and deliberation, in order for the implementation to be water-tight and free of potential future abuse.

To call for an exception to the rule in this case to me is just pure limelight-hogging-publicity-whoring-bullshit. Grieving lady is not the 1st to be caught out of wedlock with a dead partner, and she will not be the last. But hey - even if you're holding a number and waiting in line for this to happen - be sure you have your wishes stated when there's a reporter nearby. It might just happen for you!

And the bit of a trust fund being set up? That just takes the cake. Cos I do not see these overnight philantrophist(s) coming forward or scouring the streets for persons in similar situations doing the same.

Jumblestation - a small group of individuals in Subang Jaya has such a hard time raising funds to assist the single parents of USJ. And mind you - they are in worst off situations, considering they do not have any qualification to their name, thus denying them the opportunity to hold a proper paying job that could feed two, three or even four. MaryAnne, the lady who started it all, even has to go to the extent of helping them apply for housing, filling up the forms for welfare - simply cos some of them are illiterate.

Said saidly, none of their deceased partners worked for any politicians, nor did they depart under mysterious circumstances. They were your average joe who contracted some incurable disease, made worse by not having proper healthcare, or were terminated physically at some low-paying construction job they took. They left, quietly, sometime in the day, noon or night, with only those left living around them. Perhaps that is what I should advise MaryAnne the next time I email her on how we can get more publicity for her cause: make sure the cases she takes on fall into the category of having married some politically-linked individual and the circumstances of death states "Unknown." It would make her task a walk in the park!

I am not writing this piece whilst sitting on some high-horse. I know for a fact that life ahead for Ms Soh is going to be so challenging, she's gonna wish she fell out that same window too. Just because my children's father chose to leave instead of being taken, doesn't mean I had life any easier. And so I know that there would be mornings where she wished the sun did not come up, and there would be nights when she wished it would engulf her forever.

Each time she looks at her kid, her heart will break all over again. And when the harsh realities of life in forms of bills, fees and all that jazz creeps in - she's gonna wonder if she can live with herself if she were to quiting her day job and "putting on that red lamp" tonight instead, just so the kid would have enough.

Having said all that, I ALSO have to say this today:

She is but one of many. And she has the media on her side. Show your sympathy, apathy, whatever-you-want-to-call-it for the tragicness that has befallen the lady we read about in the papers today. BUT also show it to the rest who do not even have a whisper of their names in the news we read.

A lot has been said and done for the grieving "widow." So why don't we talk instead today, tomorrow and the days to come, for the rest?

Policies and Legacies

I was recounting to Ben how on my recent exit out at LCCT, my passport was rechecked by plain-clothes Immigration officials for its authenticity. It was far too early in the morning for me to be my cheery self and so it was a dull, dead “Good morning” that was uttered when it was my turn.

The officer looked at me, then to my passport and replied in a toned that was meant to be a smack-on-the-wrist “Selamat Pagi.” Needless to say, the rest of the ‘interrogation’ was akin to chicken-and-duck talk.

In a way, many weeks after, I can appreciate his determination to engage me to speak in our national language. Afterall, how can national language sustain its lofty status when the vast majority of her nation is not proficient in it? Add to all that, the up-roar stemming from the debate of what language should be the medium of instruction for certain core subjects in school, I really shouldn’t fault the dude for his censure.

I have been told that I should write a paper to be presented to my bosses, on the impact on the abolition of the PPSMI ruling (i.e. learning of Math & Science in English). And how this politically motivated decision would bring about a further dilution of the quality of students that we would likely receive.

Frankly, I am torn as to how to position this paper. For after much reflection and soul-searching, I have come to the conclusion that regardless of what the medium of instruction is, it is not going to bring about significant improvement in the quality of K12 education in our country, is the method of teaching and learning is changed.

It is easy to get away with using rote learning methods when one is dealing with factual subjects such as geography, history, etc. But with conceptual subjects (which at the heart of it, Math and Science would qualify alongside Literature, Commerce, etc) one can shove all the theories down the student’s throat but it ain’t gonna do jack when the method of assessment changes from a bulimic-3 hour-5 page script session to one that is case study oriented.

Ben, Mandy, myself – we all grew up in the era where the only subject that was taught in English was English itself. As Mandy rightfully said – she went on to obtain an Engineering degree without much hassle, despite that “handicap” in her K12 education. Ben, in reflection of his college days in the US, found that he could follow his Sciences without problem – and his opinion I would place great weight for he did not come from an English speaking family environment. Me – I never had an interest for Science and so, even though it was taught in a mixture of language (by virtue of my teachers being Convent girls themselves), I still didn’t get great scores.

And it wasn’t so much the language that our teachers imparted the knowledge in, but rather the way they did it. Learning back then was stressful (yes, stressful cos we didn’t know any better) but it was still fun. Our teachers had the time to share a joke, recount a tale about the haunted 3^rd floor (or the library!) and homework didn’t take up an entire school session. And to me, that is the broken link in the system today, not the mastery of subjects in a certain language.

The government has put it foot down and are sticking to the guns that the decision is irreversible. And I really cannot fault them. There is a huge gap between them who live in urban and suburban areas, and them who live in the outskirts. This I am still seeing today when I meet with our scholars. And the national school system is not meant to cater solely for the urbanites, but as the term suggests “National” i.e. the whole country.

And if we were to look at the bigger picture, one would be hard-pressed to now stand against the abolition of the PPSMI policy, on the basis that it would be for the greater good. For it would be much better for the nation as a whole to be knowledgeable in Math and Science, even if it is our national language, than for a small minority to excel in it and the rest floundering like a fish out of water.

Now that I have gotten that out of my system, I suppose I can level-headedly examine the cause and effects on our business sector in the years to come. Perhaps I might even don my different coloured hats and turn this “adversity” into something that becomes a USP for us.

But much remains to be seen as it appears that Phase 2 is now on the horizon, with the relevant ministries embarking on their attempts to shift the focus of our K12 system from an examination oriented one (i.e. rote learning) to a more applicable one (i.e. problem-base learning).

As a parent, I can only keep my fingers, ears and toes crossed and mutter under my breath “Insya-Allah.”

Moses of Two

I would not say that I am a deeply religious person. I believe in what I was taught to believe in and yes, I do know where my anchor lies. Bibble-trotting and verse-spewing, I am not, together with messing up which commandment is what number.

But I do believe that everyone was created for specific purpose(s) and it could be as brief as 10 seconds (pushing someone out of the way of a moving bus) or going on as long as days, weeks and months (holding a friend's hand thru a rough patch.)

But that's not my point. My point is: I am not a deeply religious person. And so why some people think I would bring some form of intellectual perspective to the statement "Heaven and Hell is not a separate place or time but is actually our time on earth. How can I make more people realise that the 'future' is right here, now in their hands and so they should live their lives by God's Way and be in heaven already?" befuddles me.

After 3 hours of head-tail-debate, I said in resignation that perhaps he didn't have to find some river somewhere to part like the Red Sea, but merely keep the people he thinks fits into his category above and simply pray for them.

Cos in all honesty, we have had many stimulating discussions and debates in the past. But that one there - made me simply want to wring his neck.

Maybe I should take a page out of my own book and simply just pray for Boy-who-might-now-change-his-name-to-Moses: pray that he stops fighting it or putting too much thought into every as divine, and to simply just go with the flow.

Yes, I think I shall do just that. Me can't talky no more.

Empty Diary

"Normality? You've gotta be kidding me! We both know that your "normal" is off the scale from everyone else's!" was the comment on my Facebook status this morning.

Okay so, yeah perhaps, I'll admit inasmuch that what is normal in my world, may be slightly abnormal in many others. But that's the beauty of it isn't it ~ my slow day would still give you laughs on your really slow days.

Whatever the definition may be, I am just glad to be looking at my calendar for the next 2 months and not breaking out into cold sweats on how one thing is piling up on top of the other. The only excitement that we will be looking forward too in the coming months:

1. The baptism of my 1st (and likely to be!) god-son Gabriel (and it has to be said that I am only gonna be the Godma by virtue of Gab being my brother's son *hahahaha* No one else in their sane mind would entrust their child's spiritual upbringing to me otherwise!!)
2. The dinner reception of Sen & Nat which promises to be an absolute meat-feast since it's being held at Carnaval Churrascaria. Running up to it, I must say I have a strong feeling it's gonna be another one of those weddings where no invitation cards are issued (*ahem* Mandy - yes, we're talking about you!) and one person is gonna be either instant messaging or texting another asking "What time is it starting?!"
3. My turning .. erm.. erm... *does mental calculation fo 2009 minus 1975* .. yeah - 34. Which is a really weird feeling as the year(s) progresses. How could the number of candles on the cake be increasing when I think I mentally feel younger than I did when I was say, 28?!

So yeah, only 3 items on the list and I am so grateful for it. But don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining cos the organised chaos of the last few months were in fact quite excellent. And having it culminate in the bestest dinner and dance reception ever over the weekend - it can continue to be hazy till September, but it's not gonna rock my boat cos that one night is going down in my books as the wedding of this lifetime!

Let's just hope I recover on time to be able to clearly say "I will" at the baptism!

UP Heavel

A thought's gone and stuck itself to the sides of my head. And it's a thought I can do without, not when there are far more important things that need my attention and focus.

It all started when 'Mary' and 'Sally' decided to go dancing but be Cinderallas i.e. leave the club by midnight. As time wore on and the carriage didn't turn back into a pumpkin, we decided to "reschedule" our departure.

'Sally' asked 'Mary' - did you need to get home by midnight? And 'Mary' said "No. Do you?" To which 'Sally' replied "Who's there to note what time I come home?"

And I can't do this by myself

All of these problems, they're all in your head

And I can't be somebody else

You took something perfect

And painted it red.

Water Under The Whatever

A couple of days upon arriving in Ireland, about 3 weeks ago, I received an urgent email from my colleague. Apparently the channels of communication got screwed up and she had to face down an irate customer. Which led to me sitting in the cold, at 5.30 am, dressed in my jammies and my overcoat, puffing away one ciggie after the other, trying to make sense of the situation and salvage what I could.

After doing whatever damage control that could be done from thousands of miles away, I ranted my guts out, over many ciggies yet again and for the rest of the trip, I was still pondering on the closing question: Am I gonna let a couple kids leave a bitter taste in my throat for something I love doing?

In the past, this exchange would have left me not wanting to come face to face with said customer again. But I think over time (and many a bawling session at PCMC later), I have learnt that sometimes, it's part of the job to be the one who says - Okay, bad move on both end, but let's move on.

And so, with that in mind, today, customer and confused teen sat down with me as I verbally walked them thru the town which teen would call home for the next 5 years. And it was a great way to turnaround a possible situation that could have haunted me for the better part of this career.

Like it's always said in my fave tv series - Ah, it's water under the whatever!

The Thrill

I should really be in bed. Considering I'm having delayed jet lag (feeling sleepy only at 4 am), I'm rapidly building up a sleep debt that's gonna creep up on me like a silent stalker. But I know that if I head to bed right now, despite being dog-tired, I am not gonna be able to sleep. Simply cos I know the fate of my sales numbers moving is likely being decided two oceans away.

I'm in the middle of the chase here. Chasing student numbers.

Having reached my 3rd milestone that I had set for myself, the 4th doesn't seem so daunting now. So the chase is on. The thrill is there. And so with some weird form of adrenaline pumping through my system tonight, it's looking to be another 4 am scene.

I know I need my rest. The body can only function at this pace for so long. And I will get my rest - Friday, when I have my vacation day.

For now, I'm quite alright with sitting here at the desk, after a full day, waiting from communication to come in.

Oh I can't wait!

Ding Dong Marry-ly on High

Okay, so apparently 2010 is not a good year to be tying the nuptial knot. Which is probably why my list of wedding invites for the year has about doubled. Either that or word got out that Barb no longer avoids wedding-do's and thus is back on the "welcomed" list (lest if I were still in the former mode, I might show up in widow's black, muttering chants under my breath!)

One of my ex-boyfriend tied the knot yesterday. And I am most pleased for you to come to another milestone in life. With one of the most pleasant girls I know. Nonetheless, it was odd to see pictures of his registry wedding as the day wore on. Not odd with a tinge of something.. just plain simple weirdness.

This weekend, I'm gonna be the Maid of Honour at my bff's wedding. It's gonna be magical I tell you and I can't wait. We've got the week running up to it with not one but TWO hen-parties planned out for her, and of course, it'll be a gathering of old chums once again.

So yeah.. it's weeks of rice confettis, well-wishes and endless eating ahead with the people around me finally settling down. It really shouldn't surprise best bud Bear that I had to ask if he was gonna be announcing his engagement anytime soon.

Cos at the end of the day... Kinda makes one wonder.. life sure is a funny one eh?

Clean & Cleared

So yeah, it's now been 48 hours and no, the phone has not rung from the hospital to say I have to go back. So technically I have the all clear.

"Thank God!" said bff Mandy when she rang for an update this evening. And that was the most magical words said to me the whole of the last 2 days. For a brief moment, I felt that my existence in every day life did indeed matter - even if it was to just one person. That there was at least ONE person out there who was grateful and glad that I did not have to be further quarantined and is at no risk to everyone around me (as if there is a long queue for that right now!)

While driving back from my folks' place (where I had to leave my kids' stuff outside the front door and not inside, lest I contaminate the house), I couldn't help but reflect that our society does not condition us well to be loners. Sure we see lots of them out there with their kung-po-kai-fun and Chinese tea ice for dinner and the evening papers. But really, we're not structured to face days on end by ourselves. Or maybe it's just me.

Having just spent 2 weeks in Ireland by myself and coming home to this (this meaning being placed under home quarantine), I am shrivelling up like a grape forgotten at the back of the chiller cabinet. Add to all this, ultimatums that make me feel about as good as someone who has leprosy .. sighing is all I can do.

Perhaps I should sell my car so I have the funds to go get the crooked bone in my nose fixed. That way I won't be subsceptible to sinusitus. And my nose won't clog up at will when the pollen or dust count goes up a bit in the air. And the endless snifflings would stop. Then people won't look at me in this climate of virus scare and go all crazy around me or ask me to wear a face mask when there's nothing contagious about me.

I've been given a clean bill of health by the powers that be at the hospital. If only that bill would stretch to wiping out the stigma of being "suspected"!

Moving without Moving

I wrote Lydia's school principal the following email today after reading the papers:

Dear Ms Julia,

With the latest ruling of teaching of Maths & Science in BM from Year 2012, I write to enquire if Sekolah Sri Sedaya is required to follow this ruling and if so, would Lydia be affected?

Please advice.

Yours truly,

Barbara Er

A lot of angst have been expressed in the media over our government's latest decision. I too am questioning the rationale of the decision and the justification given. As our former PM rightfully said - we appear to be moving backwards! And he could not be more right on this account!

For my office has just received the results of the coming batch of scholars admitting into our unis and only half of them made the entry grade. Surprise! Surprise! The other half that did not make it was due to a poor Math or Science or BOTH score! And these are the cream of the crop - the best of the lot in their year which is why they are deserving of such huge tax-payer's investment in the hope of them advancing our country's growth.

While I am pleased that the schools would be re-introducing English Literature as a subject - I honestly doubt that my kids (if they have the misfortune of still having to follow the mainstream system) would be engaging me in a discussion of Yeats or Joyce (which makes me question the point of enrolling in next year's summer school on the works of John McGahern in Ireland even if the EUR 550 is being paid for me!!!)

At the end of the day, in my humble opinion, education today is wasted cos children are not nurtured to think for themselves which in turns translates to applying the knowledge they receive. It's not just in the poor scores that are being produced by our nation's top scholars but in the overall way of our system - and I can rant cos I was just sent from one end of a public hospital to another and back, despite my uncertain infectious condition, just so the pharmacist dispensing the drug could have 5 more minutes on her mobile with whoever it is that requires her attention! Which is a fine example of not applying knowledge received.

We talk of being a developing country. Perhaps the powers-that-be have mild dyslexia, getting their spelling wrong cos we seem to be more of an enveloping country - folding ourselves in.

We are told that our thoughts and opinions would now be taken into serious consideration under a certain concept - yet decisions still sway away from the cry of the public.

Maybe in time to come, I would be able to escape all these by putting my kids somewhere else to study tho if you were to ask me, there is no one perfect education system that exist in the world today! And if that be the case, then perhaps the only escape route would be to put them in an apprentice trade and say "Heck care!" to a paper qualification!

Afterall, it's pointless having a string of letters to your name if you can't think for yourself and contribute towards the betterment of society.

What A Joke

I have been nursing this nasty head cold prior to my return from Ireland on Monday.

I suppose going from an average of 18 degrees to 30-something degrees in a span of 24 hours did not help. I also suppose that pushing an entire 24 hours without sleep (my own remedy of countering jet-lag) would have maxed me out and bring on a nasty headache when I woke up yesterday. Last but not least, I suppose the pigging out on spicy food as a make-up of 12 days without chili did not also aid my fragile internal system.

Little did I think that all those "insignificant" actions of mine would result in my system completely turning on me today so that I am also having a slightly higher body temperature and the onset of a sore throat.

Now to really bring home the insignificance of my actions - the "repercussions" apparently mirrors the syptoms of *drum roll* H1N1! Which meant that when I finally ran out of my lil strips of Boots Max Strength Cold & Flu tablets (which, mind you, were EUR 0.70 a pop at 4 pops a day for the last 7 days), the doctor at the clinic would turn me away and send me to the nearest hospital.

So here I am, sitting in my work clothes still, scratching my head and counting down the next 48 hours.

If the phone rings with a certain PJ-area number within this time, I'll be packing my bags for a free stay at Sg. Buloh 'resort' and expecting a big whalloping from:

1) The hundreds of passengers on the return flight to KL from London (especially the dudes who were part of the Lord Mayor of London's entourage and who had spent yesterday with a bunch of head hunchos from Bank Negara!!!)

2) My best mate Mandy cos I'm the leader of the pack to rag her husband on their wedding day next week

3) My brother cos that would mean his whole family (and mine!!) would have to done the mask and stay home or have their throats swabbed

4) My boss cos I have put our lil Sam at risk by going back to work today and also not loading up on supplements and vitamins prior and during my travels,

and

5) Ben cos he told me to get myself some face masks and not catch the virus while on my travels.

So yeah, I'm ending up 7 days later:

• About RM 98 out of pocket from those lil Boots tablets,
• Stuck at home for the next 2 days without any human being for company - I was so looking forward to spending the weekend with my doh-doh and lukey boy! AND
• Without food other than bread (that's been in the fridge for the last month), eggs (that's also been around the same amount of time), some pasta sauce (which dates to about the same time as well) and instant noodles.

This is such a joke. I should have saved myself all that trouble and some RM 93 (the hospital bill was only RM 5 with an armload of meds!) and 3 kicks less in the butt.

Please God let that swab be negative!

12 Days

I have to be up front and declare that I am not coming back with micro-sticks load of pictures. I taken less than what would make up a roll of traditional film in fact, and this was what I pondered upon in the last 24 hours as the last minute packing began.

I suppose Ireland is one country you would have to stand on its soil and experience it for itself. Perhaps it is the romantic in me to deny anyone else of that experience with a refrain from being the shutter-bug. I mean, if I did up a scrape book of sorts, you might then decide that you have seen it and thus need not make the journey yourself.

I am way early for my flight to London but it is because the weather has gone a bit grey and I did not want my last hours in Dublin, towing my bags, to be washed out. I had the sunnies with me in the 12 days - let's keep it that way.

I do not think a melancholic reflection is needed as I take my place in line for the flight to London - this was but my 1st trip. I'ld be back in about 365 days from now.

My personal ambition from now: save enough money so that on each annual trip, I'll be able to afford bringing along at least one other person so that they can see for themselves the richness of hospitality of this lil island that gets more rain then one can imagine, and containing (and preserving!!!) more history than we can ever read up on.

Slán go fóill Ireland with your fairies, leprechauns, Guinness and double-decker buses ~ see ya real soon!

Genuine Friendly

Aa nice Paddy seated opposite me on the train todaay to Galway asked if I was comfortable, navigating Dublin on my own, when I told that I had walked the historicaal part of the city using a podcaast and a map.

The truth is, like anywhere else in the world, there are parts of the city (as with Cork and quite possily with Galway too) that one would be ill-advised to wander off into by themself, or even in a group.

I did my walking tour after 7 pm (but hey - it's now 10 past 11 and the sun's just gone down!). This meant that most of the shops would be closed and the pedestrian traffic having died down. Yet, I never got that feeling that I had to look over my shoulder or clutch the bag that wee bit tighter. And mind you, the trail I followed was on the North side of the river Liffey - which is not somewhere you'd want to hang out.

Maybe it was a sense of false safety that had lodge in my head, i.e. if most of the people I had crossed paths with are so genuinely friendly - how could there be any bad persons here?! Which is wrong, I know.

The cab driver who stopped the meter from running cos we were going in circles, finding a particular place, the kindly Pops who walked me down the Quays to make sure I got on the right bus to catch the train, the chap who offered to drive me frmo the station to the hotel - they could be unique individuals. And yes, there were kindly ladies as well - like the lady of the pub who gave me her recipe for Steak & Guinness stew or the B&B owner, Lucy who made me a warm salt bath for my aching feet.

Nonetheless, all the strangers I have sat next to, shared lifts with or even just waited for the bus with have all lived up to the proud reputation of Irish hospitality.

Malaysian Airlines should really take a leaf out of their books, if they want to maintain that MH = Malaysian Hospitality.

What we don't see

I had te opportunity to visit a Physiology Museum a couple of days ago at one of our universities. Now this would be the room where bits of healthy AND diseased parts of our body are encased and put on display - just so medical students can see what things should be, and should not be.

If you're like me, a great fan of medical series ala Grey's Anatomy, you would be familiar with like anuerysm, malignant tumours, etc. But fortunately for us, the telly does not show us what effects these have on the body bits.

3 days in, I'm still haunted by those cross-section "remains". I now know what my grandfather's brains would have looked like after his long battle with Alzheirmer's. And the insides of Ben's mum's abdomen after her fight with cancer.

I am grateful that not everybody gets to see these items. It does not add to your knowledge of tihngs.

If anything, it only makes it more painful in remembering.