Crunk Juice

I am definitely drunk. You should know - two postings in an hour!

No ranting here. It's happy drunk. So no danger of getting weird calls or messages from me later on in the night.

Well, here' s what I'm sloshed on after 1 glass:

8 oz can Red Bull® energy drink
1 1/2 oz cognac

Except that I think I did a 150 ml of Red Bull and an equal portion of Cognac.

Who cares! Afterall, it's a full moon tonight. And in another life, I would be sloshed anyway on the beaches of Kohpangan with Grover. But that's another life.

So since we only this one.. let's bring the party to me, myself and i then eh?

And by the way, don't say it. I know. I drink way too much, party way too much. But hey - at least I've stopped on the swearing too much *grin*

A tummy full of cognac

I am having myself a liquid dinner tonight.

Traded it off for lamb, a variety of cheese cakes and a damn good and expensive bottle of French desert wine.

It's just one of them days and moments. When you felt like you were the 5th wheel in everything. A position you did not relish being relinquished to you, when in your head, you had assigned that to someone else.

It's silly and it's trivial. But that's me for you. Possessive, insecure and everything else in between.

But I am glad I walked away. Not that it's doing me any good. But then again, why spoil everyone else's night?

So yeah.. here I am.. running on my breakfast from 12 hours ago.. toasting myself for having once again succeeded tremendously in getting herself replaced.

I definitely need to resolve to move to San Sebastian.

There's just too much history that I am keeping myself in.

Poison in the home

I was just reading the Electrolux Food Survey questions in today's edition of The Sun.

One of the questions listed was "What prevents you from cooking at home?" Being a "tick" type survey (which has a specific name that is not coming to mind! No wonder I got a "C" for Data Analysis), it had a list of answers. Surprisingly, one of them was worry about safety in the kitchen.

Now that is something that you would never hear being said outloud. Afterall, when someone complaints that they are suffering from food poisoning, the next to follow is where did you go and eat last night?

Food poisoning is something that happens outside. May lightening strike the devil's child who thinks that one of his / her own would attempt to compromise their food safety in the home environment! But you know what - it does happen, and the likelihood of it happening is very much higher than you think!

Having worked now in this F&B industry for 6 weeks plus, it has created a sense of awareness in me that I never really paid much attention to. Yes, I have always had 2 types of chopping boards - one for the raw food and one for veg and dried stuff. But other things, like the dish cloth, the washing up sponge, etc... it's always been one and the same.

Let's not even go to the bit on hands. The fact that washing your hands before and after handling the raw food is simply not enough. There is a reason why handlers in the restaurants wear gloves. Is it because one assumes that you know where your family / friend has been to, hence it is alright not to apply the same reasoning in the home?

To be honest, I have not cooked very much in the last 6 weeks since starting work. It's not because I've been busy. But because the level of awareness is now much heightened. And frankly, my kitchen ain't clean enough for other than throwing things in the microwave.

Have a think about it. If we really care and say that home-cooked food is the best to give our loved ones, then shouldn't we be taught food safety to be applied in the home as well?

Well, that's my rant for this morning. I really should offer to make you a nice dinner to make up for having you read this tirrade. But then again, I wouldn't want to stand guilty of poisoning you *grin*

First step

Some of you may have read / heard before of my grand plan to move to Spain. Today, I decided to take the first step and nail down where exactly it is I want to start over again. The verdict:

Donostia - San Sebastian.

It's a small and quaint lil town north of Spain and about 20km from the South border of France (best of both worlds?). It's in what is known as Basque Country, which has its own language and very deep in culture.

From what I've read... it's gonna be an expensive but possibly rewarding experience if this dream does indeed take flight. For this lil place, with a population of under 200,000 people, is blessed with beaches and mountains. Not only that, it's a highly popular place for the rich in the EC so there are plenty of hotels and such.

So yes, there is every possibility that I might just be able to find work there and be able to enjoy the "runaway" experience.

Next step? Learn as much as I can from my new trade, widen my contacts and needless to say - Learn Spanish.

Hasta entonces!

Rights!

I've been sleeping on a wee lil mattress in my living room. Yes, I do have a right and proper bed. But my kids' fan broke down some time back and well, have not gotten round to replacing it.

Sleeping in the hall has its advantages. Among them includes fresh air with the balcony door open. Being able to look at the moon. And of course, falling asleep with the tv on.

Yes - that's where them panda eyes have been coming from.

A few nights ago, I stayed up to watch Independence Day. Amidst yawns and such on the drive home, got into a slight dispute over why I wasted good sleep time on it with Sen. He thinks it be a dumb-dumb movie cos we could upload a virus to alien systems. And from there, he's concluded that Bill Gates is an alien.

Here's the thing ~ we ended up arguing about who had the blogging rights to that point of view. Imagine - times have changed so much that you could now have blogging rights dispute! I wonder if in a few years time, there would be quick contracts to rights to blog on a subject matter.

Well, to cut long story short... this one is about blogging rights. Wanna read about Alien Bill? Check it out at Brainspillage.

Desire

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life.

Yesterday was a good day, considering it started out with me trying to block out that it was the start of the weekend. Manage to squeeze in seeing all my boys, except for one. But then again, I see him more often than the others. And I made the acquaintance of a very decent and sweet chap. Where that could go - it remains yet to be seen.

It was a good day as it was laced with some profound conversation pieces! My dahlings seem to think that I'm adrift yet again, with the most asked question of the night being "What is it that you want?!"

Well, at 2 in the morning, I guess it had to be talked out. And my simple conclusion is as follows:

• I want my life to remain as it is, with some slight improvement re where I live, the car I drive, the money I make.
  
• I want to be free to do the things that I want to do, without having to take yet another person into account.
• I want to belong to someone, but not be caught in a choke-hold.

So there... 3 simple statements of fact. Sounds simple written down, but we all know deep-down, that to achieve it, it's gonna take a whole lot more.

But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.

And with that, because they don't think I'm happy, their conclusion: I don't know what I want. *ha*

Talk these days

Sometime back, Puppy blogged about Lafu and how Manglish has become the popular speak these days. Here's my stand - I. Hate. It. Period.

Unless you went to a school where the education was so poor, i.e. teachers who could not speak proper language themselves, there is no excuse for one not to use the proper language when speaking or writing.

Which brings me to my next pet peeve~ internet lingo type spelling.

Some words are cute and it's functional to have them abbreviated. But come on.. do you seriously think you're making an impression when you say, "Can we be fren?" Is it that difficult to type in 3 additional lil alphabets?! It only says that you do not think i'm worth the effort to spell correctly.

Every time I rant about this, my friends end up telling me It's the IN thing. Well boys - hate to burst your bubble.. but poor language is never the in-thing. And if you truly want to stand out in this day and age of too many girls for too few guys ~ do the right thing and speak / write well.

Trust me. Nothing makes more of an impression than a chap who can do the right talk.


And don't come tell me that this post is Foh-yoh power-rant. I'll smack you right and proper if you do!

Safety in the 21st Century

Give a thirty-something some balloons and what do you get?

A handful of "sonkies"!

This is Puppy's new take on "supporting the Malaysian rubber industry.

Territorial markings

A friend of mine has just launched his own website. This is after about 10 days of much ado about this and that and the principle of domain-sales.

I have always wanted to ask him why he saw the need to spend over RM 50.00 for a domain name and then space on the web when he has been living with it for free.

I suppose might have something to do with marking one's territory. Or else, the convenience of having all your webstuff under 1 location?... *Hmm*.. I'm really lost on this one. *Ha* and to think I see myself as being tech-savvy.

But anyways, back to the new spill-site. Just took a peak at it and for a bit there, I thought my browser was not working.

On second glance, my browser is working. His html skills isn't.

Sigh.. to have gone thru all that trouble only to replicate the existing site he's got. Go figure.

Nonetheless - at least he's got his own space while I am still bandwagoning along. He's done marking his spot.

Till the cows come home

There's a new ad on the airwaves. I can't remember all that it says.. but I do remember that the bits where "when you need to scream into a pillow ~ pick up the phone and talk it out. Afterall, we're just humans and we need to just talk."

And just a few hours ago, I was just listening to a friend comment earlier how much he loved hearing a particular song go off on his phone as a ring tone. And the only thought that could go thru my head was, "What the hell do you guys have so much to talk about?"

Personally, I think it's strange to just talk anymore in this day and age of text messages, instant chats and emails. I mean, I was just looking at my phone bill today and my god ~ my text messaging charges surpassed my call charges. How the hell did that happened?

Maybe it's just me.

I suppose once upon a time, I understood what that meant.

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.

Well, I guess it's good that there are people who still talk these days.

I think I should blog less and talk more. Maybe then I wouldn't be so messed up at times *grin*

There is always hope *wink*

Job Hunting

I just have to rant about this issue. After 10 days of interviewing people, I am drained. Drained and frustrated.

I'm in the process of hiring my crew for the hospital's F&B outlets. This would range from the chefs to the waiters and waitresses. So far, we're on position #4 and some 50 candidates in, the urge to throttle their throats are getting very hard to keep at bay.

For those who know me, you would realise by now that I'm the scary one among the panel of interviewers. I mean, technically, my boss would be the one to fire all the function-related questions. The HR rep (who I occassionally want to throttle as well) would be all the HR related items. Which leaves me in the middle. The devil's advocate.

Here are some of the things I have had to asked:

Case study # 1:
Barb: You've asked for RM 12,000 as a pastry chef.
Candidate: Yes, this is the market rate.
Barb: Yes, it is ~ for an expatriate chef.
Candidate: Yes.
Barb: Could you remind me your nationality again please?
Candidate: Erm...

Case study # 2:
Barb: You're a culinary lecturer now?
Candidate: Yes.
Barb: What do you do when your class is noisy?
Candidate: I tell them, "Shut Up!" *Big Grin*
Barb: Nothing further to ask.

Case study # 3:
Barb: It says here that you're attached to your current job until 24th April?
Candidate: Yes. I resigned when I sent my application to you.
Barb: Why did you do so?
Candidate: Because I very confident I will get the job*

*This sentence is showned here ad verbatim

Case study # 4:
Barb: You've worked in the Butchery section of a kitchen before?
Candidate: Yes. I very good butcher.
Barb: So do you know how to do a Butcher's Test?
Candidate: Oh. I work in Butchery during training. We learn only. No test.

A butcher's test is when you carve up a strip of meat, remove the fat and such, and calculate the yield you would get from it minus all the trimmings.

Case study # 5:
Barb: As a shift leader, you would have to handle disputes and disciplinary cases. What would you do if one of your staff was caught stealing?
Candidate: I will ask the staff why he did it.
Barb: And ...?
Candidate: If can settle, we settle it among ourself.
Barb: And if it can't be settled?
Candidate: *Big grin* Can one! Everything also can settle one!

I dread to think that I have another 10 days of interviewing to go, plus a round 2 come end of May cos the calibre of candidates were just way below par.

This is an experience where the phrase, "No expectations, only hope" goes out the window.

And you wonder why I go home with migraines each day?!

And the game begins

So another weekend has come and past. Boy was it a prolific one. And one that I do not intend to repeat. How does it see me here on a Monday while I have my lunch at my desk? Curious. Curious as a puddy-tat in a cat-and-mouse game.

You see, someone told me I should get out more, meet more people. That way, I wouldn't be stiffed for company during my free time while my buddies go out and play. Yes, apparently a lack of people clogging up my phone book is my problem. *ahem* nice analysis girl.

But anyways, cos I vowed to listen to my girlfriends from here on out, it the beginning of The Adventure ~ Online Personals!

Well, I shall be shameless and admit that I have been there and done that before. It was never something that worked out well in any case. It's like looking for a needle thru the haystack. Nonetheless, we must forge on and bite the bullet.

Coming up with a profile that is attractive enough to capture one's eye was not all that bad. Finding the right balance of clueless-nes and wit was a bit of a toughy though. I mean, paint yourself too well and you'll be branded "smarty-pants" or "snob". But I think the cruncher is still the picture.

Once that was done, all I had to do was troll thru the multitude of Malaysian males who have uploaded their profiles and see if any caught my eye. In my search result, I returned 19 pages of individuals. That's like over 100 chaps that met my criteria. But at the end of the day, only a miserly 6 got some form of communication from me.

Has the first 24 hours of The Adventure been rewarding? I can't really say. Of the 6, 2 has been cut down to size through chats. But one.. oh that one ~ he's got the McDreamy hair, so it's fingers, ears and toes crossed for a reply of sorts.

So yeah, while the first 24 hours have been a bit stale... it is a bit better than standing in the middle of a crowded club trying to see if anyone catches my eye - and so far, there has been none. And as it was said in an online article about this ~ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4674252.stm, this sure beats meeting someone when you're not sober anyways.

So anyways, as I head back to work (cos it's almost 2) and get ready for a round of brain-numbing interviews, I shall stare intently at my mailbox and will it to have something of a surprise in store for me. Dear Lord, let it be a good surprise!

Set the night to music

They say the songs you listen to has an influence on your mood.

Here's on my playlist today:

Boston ~ Augustana

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice

Breathe again ~ Juwita Suwito

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

Can't cry hard enough ~ The William Brothers

Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is an empty chair

Don't forget me ~ Way Out West

Don't forget me
Don't regret me
Don't suspect me
Don't neglect me

Swans~ Unkle Bob

Cos I'm fake at the seams,
I'm lost in my dreams.
I want you to know,
That I can't let you go.

Like I said... songs determines how you feel.

Stolen words

I am out of words this morning. So I'm gonna beg, borrow and steal since being articulate is not happening...

Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past.

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go but life still moves on

Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time.

With a bit of luck It's a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don't want to live on life replay

Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.

I just wanna face the day
Forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little
Try a little more
I'll breathe again

So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we’re making today.

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

I just want to breathe again
Learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little
Live a little more

And it's a brand new day. I can be bright and shiny too. I can, if I want to.

If.

I do want to.

Credits:
Song by Juwita Suwito called Breathe Again

After the shoe dropped

When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.

I'm sitting here.. and I'm waiting. Waiting for what, I don't really have a clue.

I have betrayed the trust of openness and acceptance that was placed in me. I have betrayed the bond and silent promise of "I will always be there". And while I have, in a great many words, explained why I felt that the betrayal was necessary, but on hindsight a lil pre-mature... the act has been committed.

So now, there's nothing I can do but to sit and wait.

I fought not to go into the "What if it can never be repaired" mode. It's energy sapping. It's a utter waste of time. Like it has been said, there's nothing left to do but..

WAIT. and it hurts.

Untitled

miss ~ verb (used with object)

• to fail to take advantage of
• to notice the absence or loss of
• to regret the absence or loss of

Have you ever experienced a moment, when you distinctively felt the empty pits of your life? When you wished that you did not miss anything or anyone so much? And for the life of you, you cannot pin-point the precise reasons why it is so?

Tonight is one of those nights. And I wish I could just let it all out... but ranting wouldn't do me any good. Not now anyways.

It's as simple as if I thought for a second you would want to hear from me, I would call.

I never realised how much it had mattered to me, until today.

And no, you're not naive to think that it's better to have something, however, little it maybe, than to have nothing at all.

Regrets, I've had a few. But none as stark as the regret of not having listened to you.

Stand closer to me

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

I am having a freakin hangover-type headache. And all I had was a Screwdriver out of a bottle after dinner last night. *Sigh* Talk about not having any alcohol tolerance level.

Anyways, I think I am beginning to scare some of my close friends with this drinking stuff.

It's a phase I'm going thru right now. It's being done in a controlled fashion so I am not putting myself on the path of creating an addiction. Plus the fact that I am trying to keep my head from spinning out of control. And the best formula I have right now on keeping that lid tight on is to subject it to as much abuse as I can till it passes out.

Why the angst? Why the sadness? I am not too sure actually.. or rather, come to think of it. I think somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what it is that is bad, or that I feel is not right.

It's just this extreme feeling of emptiness.. and that sucks big time. Everytime in the last week when something good or bad has happened, I find myself at a loss on who to run to. I've lost them both.

This is just a rant. I'm sure I'll feel better as the day goes by. Only... except... it's Friday... and I'm so tempted to type, "Whatcha doing tonight? Wanna come on out and join us for a drink or two at the Curve?" But I'm afraid of what the reply would be... or if there is nothing but silence on the other end.

For once, it would be nice to have my 2 buddies at the same table, having a blast with me. For once, I think the both of them would get along really nicely, seeing how they do have quite a bit in common with each other (though they don't think so!) For once, it would be good to have my boys well and truly back with me.

Fate

When fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window.

I had blogged once about Fate. And how it had a dark and twisty side.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed.

A few months on, and I am supposing that I could have been wrong in thinking that way. It has got nothing to do with Fate.

If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay.

It's got everything to do with us and our own silliness.

We sit. We ponder about the "What If's" and then we come to a conclusion or choice.

And that poor "What If", which was originally destined to remain an obscure scenario, is pushed into reality. Not only does it gets materialised, we would go as far as setting it in stone. It goes from "What if" to "This is how it has to be."

Where in all this was Fate? Nowhere! But when we cannot point the finger at ourselves, we say that Fate was everywhere in between.

It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time.

So there you have it folks. There's no such thing as Fate. There's just you, yourself and I.

Sleep

sleep ~ verb (used without object)

• to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness
• to be dormant, quiescent, or inactive, as faculties.
• to be careless or unalert ~ allow one's alertness, vigilance, or attentiveness to lie dormant:
• to lie in death.

Sleep has been coming easy the last few days.

It comes as a surprise to me cos my mind and soul has been experiencing a lot of turbulence. As I set my bed up for the night, I am filled with trepidation. Fear of the angles which my thoughts would take when it's all dark, quiet and still. Fear of the maggots that might spring out and take me by surprise yet again.

Yet, while I fill my head with positive things to think about as in making of a lists, the next thing I know, I hear the sounds of Jame's Sit Down going off and viola! Morning has broken.

In a way, I am glad cos that means that I have held my demons at bay. But there is also a certain kind of loss when I wake up in the morning and find that once again, sleep has come and gone without leaving me any sweet dreams to last thru the day.

I know I sound more melodramatic than it actually is. But you know when the vase is broken already, no matter how you piece it back, have it reglazed and all... it ain't the same anymore.

So yes... sleep has been coming easy for me.. I have not been doing any weeping. And I think they would be glad to know of it.

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face is all wet and your day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, paint my shelves
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face it's all wet 'cause our days were rough
So do what you must do to fill that hole
Wear another shoe to comfort the soul
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I feel I will...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face it's all wet 'cause my day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, paint my shelves
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I hope I find a place where I feel I belong

~ Damien Rice ~

Thru a child's eye

It's been a hectic day cos it's my son's 4th birthday.

I think his celebrations started bright and early cos he was allowed to watch tv while his sister got ready for school. Ah ~ the luxury of being a child and not having to answer to bosses as to why you were late.

My folks had lined up a full day of adventures for him. But I think they got more than they bargained for when his brand new Crocs got caught in an escalator!

It was horrific cos it was something one of my buddies warned me about but I laughed off. Blamed it on the kid for not knowing how to walk properly. And to have a call tell me that it happened to my kid ~ Lord that was not something you ever thought would happen. Fortunately, it's only a squashed looking blue pulp without any mangled toes so I guess that's definitely something to be thankful for.

The dinner itself was alright. Kids being kids - it was all about the cake.

And finally, it was off to the daddy's house for another round of hugs.

On the way back, all the birthday boy could think off was that his birthday was over and he has to remove his party hat.

That's how simple the life is thru a child's eye. Once it's over, it's over. No humming and hawwing about it.

I wish we could all retain that child in us. To be able to look forward to something with immense anticipation and yet be satisfied once it's come and gone. Alas.. alas..

For what it's worth ~ Happy Birthday Lukey! May you never lose the lil boy in you!

What do I say?

I just had to run over to my virtual refuge and giggle about a situation at work for abit.

I am in the midst of establishing my new company's website and I have now arrived at the bit which talks about Our People. Being a consulting firm, we need to position each person in a highly favourable light. Afterall, that's what we're being paid for ~ the expertise that each of us brings with us to the table.

It is a right giggle that not 3 hours ago, I had no problems writing up my introduction to my blog. But when it comes to the website, I am stumped in writing my own profile.

It is hilarious when you think of how in my professional life, I have been the one who has been writing my bosses' profile for them and trust me - it was always done in a such a way that the listener always end up being very impressed even before they have met or heard the individuals.

And now, I am stumped for my own.

Tis hilarious don't you think? That I can sell most anything and anyone, but I cannot sell myself :o)

Handle with care

This is my dwarf sunflower which has withered from neglect. I hadn't thought of watering it seeing how it has been raining. But well, I guess, once again, I thought wrongly.

Plants are such fragile.

So are people.

So are relationships.

Handle with care please. This is one withering plant.

Disappear

dis·ap·pear – verb (used without object)

1. to cease to be seen; vanish from sight.
2. to cease to exist or be known; pass away; end gradually.

I tried to do a disappearing act yesterday. Not just virtually, but in reality. And it is one of the hardest times that I have had to go through, all the while wishing that the individuals would just let me go. And at the same time, wanting so much to just hug them close and bawl my heart out.

I don't know why I am so affect by 2 people. 2 people who I can on one hand, count as the closest people to me, yet on the other, say that I am complete strangers to them. For that's the funny thing about people. They see what they want to see. They accept the bits that they can. The bits that they can't - it simply does not exist.

I said in one of the 2 saddest emails I have ever written, "I am at a lost. A lost as to how to be your friend. Let's not even mention good friend, cos I feel like I am failing so miserably at even being your friend. I miss it alot. I miss being able to tell you all the nonsense that I get up to. I miss hearing all the nonsense that you get up to. Once, not too long ago, you said I'm your best buddy and that I know more about you than anyone else. Somehow it doesn't feel so anymore. It's sad. It's going to rain."

Maybe that's why I wanted to call it a day and walk away. Cos I'm tired. Tired of being scared while waiting for the other shoe to drop. Of the day when I no longer cease to exist in their world, without even knowing it.

I went to sit at a bar somewhere and stared into oblivion. 8 shots of whiskey later, it still feels the same. The emptiness. The sadness.

Disappearances happen. Pains go phantom. Blood stops running and people, people fade away. There's more I have to say, so much more, but... I disappeared.

I needed a hug today.. from the both of them, for very different reasons. But I disappeared.

What's left now.. is just the pain.

New Home

It's a new home and thus a new beginning. Hopefully, this new home will have more structure, less mess and less drama. Drop a note to say "hi" if we've met.. somewhere.. before...