Felices fiestas

As each of us make our way to our destination(s) today and tomorrow, here's a lil wish from me to you this season:

The light of the Christmas star to you
The warmth of home and hearth to you
The cheer and good will of friends to you
The hope of a childlike heart to you
The joy of a thousand angels to you
The love of the Son and God's peace to you.

Merry Christmas!

The Spirit of Christmas

"It's definitely very seasonal weather going on here," said my colleague Kathryn as we caught up quickly over the phone this evening. Temperatures are at a high of 7 degrees in Dublin with blasting cold winds and frost ~ it doesn't really ever snow in Ireland. And unfortunately for us, the rains seemed to have stopped crossing over our valley here in the tropics, bringing with it the same ole level of humidity and sunny rays.

I must say, there's something about the sight of people huddled deep and down in their woolies that make Christmas a wee bit more Christmassy in those parts of the world with four seasons (and winter being in the right time of the year). The twinkle of the lights on outdoor tree decorations seem to sparkle just that little bit more, possibly cos our eyes are watering from the exposure to cold. Perhaps wintery weather drives the spirit of the season a bit closer as we hurry along our way to get out of the cold, in the hope of a warm home awaiting.

And that would be my point for tonight. Cos Christmas, as my religion teaches, is a time of hope. For the birth of Christ was the beginning of our salvation. As God-turned-man, he was also given free will - as with all of us. Hence, to me, it is the essence of hope - hope that he would make the right choices as he grows to be the man who ultimately allows himself to be crucified on the cross, to redeem us lost souls.

While we now know how the story did eventually turn out, we should try and recapture the emotions of the world back then - when they did not have the Bible to fast-forward the chapters and pages to the end. And so they had to wait. And wait with heart overflowing with hope. To the point that kings traveled from afar and shepherds with their flock came to pay homage upon his birth.

And so as we open our year-end pay slips, read through our performance reviews, empty the bank accounts for the start of a new school year and put up that new calendar on the wall. As we steel ourselves for next month's credit card bill, where the indulgences in line with the festivities catches up with us and our partners start planning for next year's getaway.

Perhaps it might do us some good to have some of that hope that the people did so many thousands of years ago. That somewhere down the road, our salvation (in whatever form that applies to you) awaits us as well.

If we but have a little more faith and resist the urge to fast-forward this, as we tend to do with so many other things in our live - our patience and perseverance might just reward us in the end.

Happy days ahead folks! Happy days indeed!

Pussy Licking on a Sunday Morning

I recently did something really impolite in the cyber world. I removed a friend (and yes, I have come to consider this person as a friend) without saying so beforehand. 

Back-tracking into the week past, I have come to conclude that perhaps, it was a bit of jumping-the-gun on my part. But then again, when it comes down to having to face with really nasty people, I tend to not want to do battle these days anymore.

I woke up today to an email from said-person, asking "why?" and for the life of me, I could not formulate all my justifications and rationalisation into a proper sentence.

A week has gone by and in all honesty, not a day has gone by that I did not log on and think of my friend. Watching "You've Got Mail" in the midst of this wave of melancholy I have to say - does not help. Cos it is a movie, albeit only a decade old, set in a different time and space. Such notions can no longer survive in our space - notions of honesty and eloquence.

I chose not to deal with psychopathic dramas and so I chose to run away. And in that process, cost a friendship. I can claim that I'm doing him a favour - so he didn't need to get a guard-dog that is trained to kill or deal with hysterics on the home-front.

But the simple truth is I cannot deal with nasty people anymore these days and would not want any part of them in my life, in any way - even the remotest of all possibilities. But to say that would essentially mean saying in not so many words - choose. And it is not something I would want anyone to have to do. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

So while I am able to find laughter in me this wistful morning with the comments my friends are giving me over this grief, it remains as it is - a spot of bother this season.

Perhaps I should have added "I have missed you my friend". 

Alas, the morning handed me a pussy licking and the damn cat did not just stop there but ran away with it as well. And so it is only said here on the Shooter and not anywhere else.

Oh well. So much for "honesty, trust and integrity". 

Question Not

What a whirlwind the past few days have been. Going home always take a bit of a toil on my sanity - different environment, different roles. Not the adaptive person that I am, it puts me out of my elements, this environment that I have no control over.

But I am glad I made the trip - even if it was for the biggest day of someone I have only met once.

"Why do you have to go early? And why is it your responsibility to make sure your friend eats before the festivities begin?" my mum asked with a hint of wrath. And I know she's not the only with so many questions of "why?" Even our close circle of friends has asked the same.

These are not questions I can answer. Nor are they questions I would choose to answer. I can string together words that might seem justification enough for you. But the truth is - there isn't any.

You never ask why you're there when a friend calls on you. And do forgive me for taking a stand that departs from yours - if you call yourself a friend, a close friend, you do not really wait until the moment you are called upon.

I may not have done much but hearing folks who have known Alex longer than I have exclaim surprise and disbelief when he whipped out his speech from his jacket pocket "He prepared a speech?!" is enough for me. To be sitting there with a drink ready for him to gulp down in a moment's of respite is enough for me. To answer his text in the midst of the dinner, waving the pom-poms in the air and saying "It's all going well. Worry not." is enough for me.

Besides, Alex has done more for me these last 5 months than most folks I call my friends. He stopped mid-way wedding photo shot to call me and let me break down by the side of a road. He welcomed this position of BFF with arms wide open and judged me not once, despite all my moments of insanity and quirkiness. 

So the lil that I think I have done is nothing really.

Sometimes, we do not have to walk to the ends of the earth to make a contribution of sorts. Perhaps if more people realised that, then our world might be easier to live in. Perhaps if more people realised that, life would not always seem like such an uphill climb.

Journeys

It's been almost 11 months since I've been back to my hometown. It wouldn't have been another couple of months, except that BFF1* is getting married and the bride hails from the next suburb to grandma's house.

This trip breaks a number of rules.

For starters, I have only met Alex once. We have heard of each other's names and escapades through our mutual love, Mandy but we had only met at her wedding earlier this year. For someone I've only spent a day with, for me to be helping out at his biggest day - now that's definitely a rule-breaker. And let's not even go to where he wants to "present" his bride to me before Sunday so I can give the BFF seal of approval.

Secondly a WEDDING. As Donald said when I rung to make plans for tomorrow evening "I thought you DIDN'T DO weddings?" For the life of me, I can't even recall attending the wedding of one of my closest cousins ~ still not sure IF I had gone, and too embarrassed to 

ask to clarify.

Lastly, I am actually announcing ahead of my impending return. Trying to see as many friends and family as possible. Which is unusual to say the lest! And judging from some of the responses I've gotten - family seems pretty pleased that this prodigal one is going back, even if it was for just a weekend.

"I didn't realise your return was such a big deal," said the groom. Yes - not many people would either. Simply cos not many people knew how I was back then, how prejudiced I can be and how strongly I can be defiant when the maggots form preconceived notions in my head. But the family always did, and kept their own counsel.

Add to it, most know why I have always resisted going home and to hear of me voluntarily, eagerly and happily heading down south - perhaps they can all breathe a little easier knowing that I am no longer as damaged as I was when I left.

Perhaps as I get older, I realise that while I may have chosen a separate set of individuals to call my persons, it doesn't mean that I have reason to neglect those I am connected to by blood. As such, it is once again a joyous thing to look forward to - sitting with the family and talking into the wee hours of the morn as we once did as our tradition.

As an old friend from the days of school on top of the hill said to her sisters ~ Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or that smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still family.

So yes. A wedding may bring me home. A bond of loyalty may make the stay sweet. 

But it would be the blood that runs through our veins that would make me leave with a twinge of sadness.

Pet Shop Bouys

“You were right” I said to LB this morning as we spoke about my final contract. I have come to realize over the weekend that perhaps sometimes in my haste and suicidal need to save the world, I make a horrible judge of characters and situations. And in the end of it all, I gather unnecessary stress and jitters on to myself.

It’s December. And we all know that December is always a bad month for me, to be left to my own devices.

Perhaps I was being selfish in retrospect. Thinking that by playing a superhero of sorts, my own cold winter could be kept at bay.

Now we learn otherwise.

A Few Good Men

A friend of mine is all up in bolts right now as his family court hearing date draws near. It is perhaps a bit of a tough situation to comprehend seeing how my friend is the father parent. 

Traditionally, the physical raising of the child rests on the shoulders of the mother. She is expected to give up whatever she can afford to, to ensure the child is properly taken care of. Yet, traditions are changing. More and more fathers are stepping up to play their role. Doing everything within their powers and abilities to be the best parental figure possible.

I must say, I am somewhat prejudice against this changing tradition. Perhaps, I defend my stand simply because I have known fathers who have been nothing but selfish and irresponsible. And I know I must change my perspective soon enough.

After all, as my circle of friends change, I am presented with an increasingly evident set of dads who are far more capable of taking care of their own than most mums I know. 

And it is in them that hope remains.

These few good men.