Monday, April 4, 2011

Trust Me

"This happened a few months ago but I didn't bring it up cos I didn't want you making a fuss over it. But since you've mentioned it... this was what happened."

I know I should be jumping on the "what happened" but instead, I am thinking to myself: He doesn't trust me! And it is a horrible thing to happen at 3 am - to suddenly dawn on your tiny wee self that the one person you have come to learn to trust, does not in turn fully trust you.

If my brain was less fogged by the whiskey, I would have probably flown into a rage with a "Whaddayamean I make a fuss?!" when we all know I am the most fuss-free person still existing in this day and age. I have learn that not all fuss are worth fussing about!

But regardless of the whiskey in the jar, the point is this: Why can't you trust that I am not like anyone else before this? And that this (imagine finger going from head to toe and back) is not some act, or hidden-unfussiness-ploy.

I wish I could make you see that this is ME. This is who I am. There is no evil-two-headed monster waiting to pounce on you.

I wish I could take back all your trauma and bad experiences that has brought you to where you are today. So that we do not have to be addressing this issue.

And because I shall not fuss, I shall only say it once: I wish you'd trust me enough to not compartmentalise your life the way you do now.

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