My dad put his house in order during our recent trip to Singapore. He made sure he visited the homes of my cousins and had a meal with each of them. He visited with his brothers, except his eldest - but he had that boxed off in a visit before.
Most importantly, he reconciled my Mum with her siblings, whom she had been estranged from the last 9 years.
As I sat a reflect on the week past, as well as the hours ahead when we make our way once again to the doctor's office for the latest update on what's going on in Dad's body - it hit me hard that I may lose my father soon.
I have been strong and pushing on the last 8 months. Keeping everyone sane and real. Yet, today I understand why everyone has been resisting my efforts. Today I understand why I have been at times the "visible enemy of cancer". Today as I sat in my favourite corner at the pub, I could not for the life of me, imagine the future without my Dad.
And because I cannot do that, I now wonder - how am I going to carry everyone through when the time comes? How am I going to sit by his side and help him cross over in peace and serenity? How am I going to do all this when I am already breaking down inside with grief and pain?
Yet, as I shared Dad's efforts and actions the last week to my associates, the Ambassador remarked "Your Dad is a strong man as it takes a lot to do what he has done. You are his child and you will draw the strength you need from that."
So while there's a grief that can't be spoken....There's a pain that goes on and on.... I shall go forth today in that knowledge.
I am his child. His blood runs in mind. And as it courses through my body, he will give me his strength from the beyond.
Most importantly, he reconciled my Mum with her siblings, whom she had been estranged from the last 9 years.
As I sat a reflect on the week past, as well as the hours ahead when we make our way once again to the doctor's office for the latest update on what's going on in Dad's body - it hit me hard that I may lose my father soon.
I have been strong and pushing on the last 8 months. Keeping everyone sane and real. Yet, today I understand why everyone has been resisting my efforts. Today I understand why I have been at times the "visible enemy of cancer". Today as I sat in my favourite corner at the pub, I could not for the life of me, imagine the future without my Dad.
And because I cannot do that, I now wonder - how am I going to carry everyone through when the time comes? How am I going to sit by his side and help him cross over in peace and serenity? How am I going to do all this when I am already breaking down inside with grief and pain?
Yet, as I shared Dad's efforts and actions the last week to my associates, the Ambassador remarked "Your Dad is a strong man as it takes a lot to do what he has done. You are his child and you will draw the strength you need from that."
So while there's a grief that can't be spoken....There's a pain that goes on and on.... I shall go forth today in that knowledge.
I am his child. His blood runs in mind. And as it courses through my body, he will give me his strength from the beyond.
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