Beatle Bugs

I have always like to think of myself as having grown, becoming open to the differing opinions, paradigms, perspectives and values.

Perhaps I've been ambitious in my thought. Perhaps I've taken a wrong line of acceptance - isn't it that when you accept you do not question the whys, the hows, the whos and the what? 

I am bugged and bummed out. Cos when it comes down to certain matters and state of affairs (no pun intended here!), there are some lines I cannot cross, try as I may to be accepting. And it was with that that I had to tell a friend that from henceforth, there is one area which I will NOT go there with. That for one part of his journey called His Life, he walks the rest of the way, without me. 

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?

I'm bugged cos this is the same friend that I had said - anytime, anything just call and I'll be there, in the next barstool. I feel as if I'm bailing out on him. Yet, I've tried and tried till I'm turning blue in my unseen face. And I have to admit defeat. 

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,

And I'll try not to sing out of key.

I'm bummed cos everyone else in the same circle seems to take it in their stride, this on-going saga. And it has left me wondering if I may have inadvertently hoodwinked myself into thinking that one day, one wedding and numerous online chats later, a strong bond of friendship has blossomed. Blossomed to the point that I think I know said person well, when in fact, I know them not at all. And the who I thought I knew, I placed on some angelic pedestal. And now he lies in a heap of broken marble on my floor.

Tis sad. Tis heartbreaking.

But this is not a case of asking one to choose. There is nothing to choose. And we're not 8 year olds in the school yard, having a recess time disagreement. 

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends.

While saying I'm sorry may not mean very much here and now, I will still say it nonetheless. Cos that's just who and how I am.

So as I crawl away like a beetle bug, I'm sorry mate. You've sung way out of tune and it's jarring my ears.