The deed is done.
We sent Ah Ma off the way she would have wanted it to be done - with our shoulders squared, heads held high and words of praise to God on our lips.
I have yet to grief. Sure, there has been the brief spurts here and there. Tried as I may to keep it together, when memories locked away from my childhood and my adulthood come flooding back, the memory of "Ah-Bab-Bab" in Ah Ma's voice come ringing in my ear, grief could not be kept at arms' length.
I will continue to miss her, just as 13 years later, I still miss Ah Kong (grandpa). I used to think that Ben was insane to speak to his mother (God bless her soul) in the presence tense. But over the last few days, so did I of my grandparents. And I am pretty sure, when I am old and grey, I would still do the same. They were the only grandparents I had ever known. I did not have the good fortune of knowing my maternal grandparents.
96 hours later, I am holding it together till I get on the plane and get home tomorrow night.
I think if I hold on tight to the fact that both my grandparents would be damn proud of who I am today, I'll be alright.
We sent Ah Ma off the way she would have wanted it to be done - with our shoulders squared, heads held high and words of praise to God on our lips.
I have yet to grief. Sure, there has been the brief spurts here and there. Tried as I may to keep it together, when memories locked away from my childhood and my adulthood come flooding back, the memory of "Ah-Bab-Bab" in Ah Ma's voice come ringing in my ear, grief could not be kept at arms' length.
I will continue to miss her, just as 13 years later, I still miss Ah Kong (grandpa). I used to think that Ben was insane to speak to his mother (God bless her soul) in the presence tense. But over the last few days, so did I of my grandparents. And I am pretty sure, when I am old and grey, I would still do the same. They were the only grandparents I had ever known. I did not have the good fortune of knowing my maternal grandparents.
96 hours later, I am holding it together till I get on the plane and get home tomorrow night.
I think if I hold on tight to the fact that both my grandparents would be damn proud of who I am today, I'll be alright.
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