Monsters Inc.

"Don't make me quit my job and run the company. I can't do that." said Ben when I hit his limit of tolerance and my usual Barb's good sense.

In that moment, it hit me. That the only way I can lose this, is if I threw it way my own self. And I have been. Looking at the comments that two independent and highly successful persons have given me on my marketing plan tells me so. Cos I did not go back to basics. I did not cover all my grounds.

Normally, I would catch the ball from his hands, him having pushed the button and ran with it like my life depended on it. But today, I was stretched to the max that it manifested itself in one of the worse migraines I have had in the year. To add to it all, a full day of sleep has wrought nothing but stupid dreams.

I'm having dinner with my brother later cos I need some serious counselling as to where all these is coming from. I am sitting here, looking at  the misty skyline outside my study window and wondering, what happened to me that brought me to this point?

Am I having some PTSD that is now coming to light? 

I want to be rid of my demons once and for all. Cos by the end of this week, I have to deliver to myself, my plans for the next year, 3 years, 5 years and 10 years.

As much as I hate to say that I'm still dark and twisted, not shiny and happy - I am not. I do not want to have imaginary monsters in my closets anymore.