Another year is coming to an end – both on the work front
and also on the age side.
So much to think about and reflect upon, yet my thoughts and head is all over the place – where do I begin?
I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of loss last night. Perhaps it was because with most of the sales seats sold, the deluge of emails that has been keeping me occupied almost 24/7 is dwindling down to a trickle. Soon it would be a small cry from being absolutely silent. What do I do with myself then?
This year has been all about work – getting the business off the ground. And off the ground it did take, and not stopping at just there. We could be slightly snobby and say that we shot for the moon and got the stars. Yet I do not feel the sense of accomplishment and achievement – not when I think that how maybe I got lost along the way.
I “FBeed” this morning that I was feeling weepy. I still am. If I had it my way, today would have been a day where I stayed holed up at home, the blue bottle in hand and the sampoerna in the other. All because I have counted the losses and it has stacked up so high against me, it is too much to bear.
If I could have one wish for the year ahead it would be this: That I could grow some coldness in me – so that I can be like them out there who could easily take things up and put them down. My work has drained me. Squeezed me dry. And I allowed it to happen by taking such a deep personal interest in each and every person who came through that door.
It is not the draining of energy that I am wallowing on about. But rather the reminder of something someone once said to me: How could you be so wonderful to a customer, and so rotten to those who really are in your life?!
So much to think about and reflect upon, yet my thoughts and head is all over the place – where do I begin?
I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of loss last night. Perhaps it was because with most of the sales seats sold, the deluge of emails that has been keeping me occupied almost 24/7 is dwindling down to a trickle. Soon it would be a small cry from being absolutely silent. What do I do with myself then?
This year has been all about work – getting the business off the ground. And off the ground it did take, and not stopping at just there. We could be slightly snobby and say that we shot for the moon and got the stars. Yet I do not feel the sense of accomplishment and achievement – not when I think that how maybe I got lost along the way.
I “FBeed” this morning that I was feeling weepy. I still am. If I had it my way, today would have been a day where I stayed holed up at home, the blue bottle in hand and the sampoerna in the other. All because I have counted the losses and it has stacked up so high against me, it is too much to bear.
If I could have one wish for the year ahead it would be this: That I could grow some coldness in me – so that I can be like them out there who could easily take things up and put them down. My work has drained me. Squeezed me dry. And I allowed it to happen by taking such a deep personal interest in each and every person who came through that door.
It is not the draining of energy that I am wallowing on about. But rather the reminder of something someone once said to me: How could you be so wonderful to a customer, and so rotten to those who really are in your life?!
Sunday looms large and lonesome ahead. I can’t even begin to
think about how I can go about filling the day so that I do not start a new age
all red-eyed and moped out.
Cos at the end of the day, I may be going into 36 far wealthier than I have ever been financially, but my life is so empty, invoking the bankruptcy act won’t even cut it.
Cos at the end of the day, I may be going into 36 far wealthier than I have ever been financially, but my life is so empty, invoking the bankruptcy act won’t even cut it.
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