Two Days In...

res⋅o⋅lu⋅tion ~ noun

1. A formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. 
2. A resolve or determination.
3. The act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4. The mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
5. The act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.
6. The resulting state.
7. A solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc.

It’s the 2^nd day of the New Year. I have been again running around, albeit with my folks this time, getting the kids’ ready for school up and going. And this time, we’re quite pressed for time cos mum and dad have been away for 6 weeks and have just gotten back.

To add to that, our family is not starting the year with our best foot forward. My grandma who is in her 90s, took a tumble on Christmas night and have been in pain. When you have the elderly in the house, every time the phone rings a certain tone, your heart skips a beat. And it is with this sense of apprehension that we're going about our business. And it pains us to see her giving up the fight.

I know she’s lived a long and fruitful life, and if it’s meant to be her time, there’s nothing that we can do about it. She has much to be joyful for – I cannot name another person who has lived thru 2 wars, many glorious days, endure many sorrowful ones, still have all her children save 1 with her, 7 grandkids (not counting their spouses) and 10 great-grand-kids with #11 in tow.

I have not made any resolutions this year. And if I had to give a rationale why – I would say my grandma lives without making any and she’s done mighty fine for herself.

I suppose as one gets older, one learns that one does not need a list of things, written days or hours before the date changes. Every moment is an opportunity to change, to live, to love.

Ready, Set... Go!

Luke has been muttering that today is the last day of December and how tomorrow would be January. The concept of tomorrow being the 1st day of 2009 and today being the last of 2008 has yet to kick in with him. Lydia on the other hand, is worried with the change of year tomorrow; people she loves are going to start dying. Me – tomorrow appears to be coming around as just another day. I just need to remember to sign off dates with ‘09’ instead of ‘08’.

But it is more than just another day isn’t it? For most people, it would be the starting block to push off in new directions, goals, promises and dreams. But as I wrote on Christmas Day, it should be Christmas every day, and the same applies for the New Year.

“Every choice has an end result” says Zig Ziglar on my never-ending calendar for the day. And 2008 I would have to say, would be the year where I made the most conscious choices since 1975. Oh okay – maybe not 1975, but probably since 1990. Yes – I am one of those, who ‘go with the flow’ even though I am a control freak. But the last 365 days saw me thinking things thru very thoroughly and then making my choices based on the best set of circumstances and consequences.

As with all decisions, there have been the good, the bad and of course, the dark and twisted too. But to take stock, on an overall count, I would have to declare 2008 a pretty good year to me.

There are plenty to be grateful for and I cannot let the date change without making a list of them. So here goes:

1. My family – mum, dad, Lydia and Luke who has been my constant driver to do better than I have ever done.
2. My best buddy – The Bear who has also been officially adopted by Mum and Dad as their “eldest” son, and who is still my best buddy despite it all.
3. My best girlfriend – Mandy whose life has changed in so many ways we did not expect a year ago, but nonetheless have remained my best girlfriend in between pumps and nappy changes!
4. My bosses – Past and present. These are two individuals who have helped me see that I deserve more than a casual “Um” and broke me out of that box.
5. My ex-staff – They have become my adopted family and even tho time have moved on, they still remain the 2nd home that welcomes me back with open arms and yummy food, no matter what the weather is outside.
6. My unexpected surprise of the year – Who shall remain nameless and faceless, but without him I would not be a sack of potatoes lighter and looking forward to the dawn of each new day. 
7. God – for constantly catching me every time I fall and always opening doors, windows and crevices, AND pointing the follow-spot towards that direction.

The Jews call it Lezikaron: The importance of looking forward as well as remembering the past. And while the list can go on and on and on, as with the Oscars, we shall place a limit on it.

For at the end of the day, of this year we call 2008, as with every other day of our lives, let us always live it knowing that each second, each minute, each hour and each person we encounter – it is always a blessing to be still alive, breathing and living.

Happy New Year’s to one and all. 

May we move forward towards more of the joyful 

and strength to handle the sorrowful!

Green

“On the morning after your first night there, wake up and look out the window. Just enjoy the peace, the quiet and the fresh air. Then go make yourself a nice breakfast.”

And indeed I did. It’s kinda warm and not quite as breezy as I expected it to. But then again, I’m only on the 7^th floor.

Cornflakes, eggs, bacon, yogurt and coffee. That’s what I just had and it was strange to cook without having to fight the food from sliding off the pan.

I’m still getting used to the idea of living on this side of the Valley. Most of you might be wondering – what’s the fuss about? Let’s just say it’s one of them things you would find hard to understand, unless you’ve lived there.

I am also having a bit of an orientation issues. Most of the places I see near where I now live do not appeal to me. I had to fight the urge to run back to The Curve just to buy drinking water and eggs. Ended up in Subang cos at least there’s some familiarity in those shops.

I suppose it’s a question of time, taking the time to get use to things. I have a whole different set of friends who now live nearby. And yes, I do so look forward to hanging out more with them. As for the old ones living on that side of the Valley – heck, we work round the corner from each other so it’s no biggie.

The house isn’t exactly 100% there yet. For starters, gotta give it a clean and find the rubbish chute to chuck out the unpacking junk.

But we’ll get there… soonish!

From the Heights

Hello all.

I’m writing to you from my new study in my new home. Amazing, the move was completed in under 3 hours. And in sure Barbsie style, loaded with excitement.

Not having spent a night here, I have already had to ring for a locksmith. For some strange reason, my front door locked on its own and we (The Bear and I), couldn’t get the key going. But ah – what’s Barbsie in a new home, without locking herself out eh?

So far, almost all the rooms are done. And for once, nothing is left in a box. I’ve even got two living area! And yes, it is done in such a manner, it shows off the space that I now have.

I am very proud and pleased with myself, I must say. It was no mean feat, accomplishing this.

And on that note, a very, Very, VERY BIG “THANK YOU” goes out to the Bear who lived true to his word of helping me move!

Come on round soonish ya? Right after I reload my fridge with foodie!

Up, Up and Away...

I.Am.Pooped.

Tired beyond belief. But I am damn proud of me, myself and I. Oh yes – and my wee two hands.

This is the last blog that I am going to be posting from this pigeon hole that I have called ‘home’ for the last 2 years, 6 months and 28 days.

Every box is sealed and ready to go. I am quite pleased actually that I have kept my junk down to a minimum of 5 boxes. A far cry from the time when the numbers spanned into double-digits. The fridge is shut down and the telly will be unplugged in the morning. Every item that needs to go has been moved into the dining room.

There is a pang that is slightly bittersweet. I can still remember the day I moved in here, with my pillows in tow and a few pieces of RM 20.00 foam mattresses. Mandy was helping me carry my stuff and it must have been quite the sight that she told me to go stay with her instead.

Many things have taken placed in this house. Many conversations with myself, and with others.

In the midst of all the harrying here and there and smelling like something the cat dragged in, I told Ben I was quitting this shift. That I was gonna ring my landlord up and say – Oops, I’ve changed my mind! But as he rightfully said: The next place I move to is gonna really be HOME, and that would be where life would start a new chapter. And that it was about time I lived properly, and not falling down.

So yes, in that light (and the light of all my other friends) – we say farewell to unit A213A of Palm Springs. It’s been real super occupying this space in the sky with you. I hope you give as much pleasure to the next occupants as you did me. And I hope they give you as much laughter and cheer as I gave you!

Onward bound now ~ till I update next from the Pearl Tower!

 

 

Is It Ending Already?

Life is full of sweet surprises, everyday's a gift

The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my sprit

It fills me up with laughter, it fills me up with song

I look into the eyes of love and know that I belong

I’m not one of those who send forwarded festive messages. No two years would you find a text greeting from me sounding the same. And there would always be that small handful of people who would get one that hopefully encapsulates all that they mean to me. And this year’s message goes like this:

It’s said that Christmas is a time of HOPE and JOY.
Here’s an early wish to someone who makes it
Christmas every day for me!

I couldn’t have said it any better cos the persons, who received them, did indeed make this day without my blood family, a much easier one to go through. Each of them surprising, carrying and pushing me in ways that no one else can do better.

Bless us all, who gather here ~ the loving family I hold dear

No place on Earth, compares with home

And every path will bring me back from where I roam

Bless us all, that as we live

We always comfort and forgive

We have so much that we can share

With those in need we see around us everywhere

Let us always love each other

Lead us toward the light

Let us hear the voice of reason

Singing in the night

Let us run from anger

And catch when we fall

Teach us in our dreams and please, yes, please

Bless us one and all

Somewhere in my hazy memory, I recall this line of thought: You don’t really want the day to end, because that would mean one more day of your life is over. It’s a strange concept to us who would sometimes do anything, just to get the day over and done with.

Bless us all with playful years

With noisy games and joyous tears

We reach for you, and we stand tall

And in our prayers and dreams 

Christmas Day is coming to an end. The official day that is. Cos if truth be told – it should be Christmas everyday!

We ask you ~ Bless us all

The Spirit of the Season

What is Christmas to you?

Is it the load of presents that await your eager fingers to rip them open? Or the boozing and the chow that lay warm and aromatic on the table? Could it be the fancy new dress or shirt that brings out the snazzle in you? Or the presence of loved ones from far and near surrounding you?

I started the day, bright and early with a conversation first with my best buddy, and then with my folks and my kids. It’s a long, long day ahead. Gotta run out for some fortifying chow, and get some errands done. Then it’s the great loading of the car for the 1^st run to the new home.

Yes – and it’s Christmas Eve. And I’m trying to put the thought that my brother and his family, along with all my cousins in Singapore, are packing up their cars same like me – except that they are going home.

I left the office, somewhat drained and strained yesterday. So I did what I could do – go home, to my 2^nd home: the hospital / restaurant. Sat and had coffee with my ex-boss, surrounded by familiar faces, voices and smiles.

I think for the first time in my life, I am truly embracing the spirit of the season: the spirit of HOPE. For while I could empty the bottle of vodka, bury my head in the cushion and wait for the next couple of days to pass me by, I will not. For I must keep my sanity and wits about me. Get the home ready, so that when everyone is home and near me once again, it would be in this new place.

It is a big deal. My 7^th move in 8 years. Not so much because it is the 7^th – but rather, it is the 1^st time I have consciously chosen where my head will lie at the end of the day. And while it is not said very much, I know my folks feel the same sense of elation: as if I have walked this long, long journey and have finally reached a resting point.

As it was said by someone: It’s about time baby. New place – new experiences awaits!

So while it would be lovely to be surrounded by laughter and merriment, I have found my peace in the solidarity and silence of the night.

Have a blessed Christmas y’all.