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In about an hour, I'd be sitting down to dinner with Ben - something we have not done in like a month. Yeah - precisely! And that's just the physical "I haven't seen you in a month!" part. Cos in my imperfect world, that also includes a whole month of being conversation-less.

And I guess that is the hardest part - the "when I don't see you, work is almost all I do" bit.

But here I am, wondering if I have been any worse off the last 30 days. Sure, there were days when it became utterly unbearable. But for the most part, I do not recall being unhappy. And if you really asked me, I'd tell you that the dips came when my colleagues left KL after concluding their business. So that was 2 dips in the 1 month. 

Which brings me then to my next line of thought - Have I conditioned myself to withstand the distance and the lack of communication? Or it doesn't matter either way to me? Both the former and the latter scares the hell out of me.

It really truly does.