Going Green

en·vy ~ noun

1. A feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
2. A longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another

It is apparently one of the seven deadly sins. I am using the term "apparently" cos the Bible doesn't exactly states that these are the seven that would condemn you straight to hell. In any case, it is a wrong-doing in the eyes of God.

So anyways, I am gonna burn in hell for this then yes... going green.. and for the silliest of reasons as well, and of people I know exist but do not know personally.

I'll hear you laugh
I'll see you smile
I'll be with you just for a while
But when the morning comes
And the sun begins to rise
I'll lose you

So.Not.Good. What am I gonna do with Monday?

Ow.. Ow.. Ow..

Yeay it's Saturday already! Like I said earlier this week, time would just fly by and before I know it, it'll soon be Monday.

I am a little concern tho, that this Monday would be a wash-out. Not cos of anything else other than the fact that I am still having the sniffles, which is progressing quite rapidly into a head cold and throat infection. Plus the fact that I can barely bend my left arm.

Went to watch futsal last night - this Euro Mini-Tournament thingy and had 2 players from Croatia and TNT crash into the net and me. My elbow to be specific. And now it hurts like hell.

Hmmm... I think I should do something about both... I have not waited 6 long days to have my Monday ruined. ... Until then, I'll just "ow" away.

It's Definitely June Already

I have only been awake for half hour but here are the wonderments of life so far...

The True Guru Of..

Got a call at 5.46 am. Stupidly picked up without looking at the caller ID. This was what the voice said, "Good morning. It's almost six. Time to wake up and stop by before going to the office." I think I laughed. I most likely did. If I didn't - I should have! Anyways, said person - I think he needs his head checked. Seriously checked. By a professional. Or else, write a book and call it The Art of Being a Master FB.

Food Psychology of ...

My Best Buddy told me this morning that his burger (which is from my restaurant) was the worst so far he's had. And I am really confused by that cos I had the same burger, made at the same time with his and mine was delicious! We've not changed the recipe, plus the process was over-seen by a lot of senior chefs.

I'm not denying that maybe our food can sometimes be bad - I have had bad food thrown back at my staff before by my own self. But, this burger thing - it's been progressively sliding downhill in his books. And I think with that one last night, I'm done trying out redemption. We'll just go for refund instead.

After all, with food - there's a certain amount of psychology involved in it. And I think this bun's reached the end of its line.

Acceptance & Moving On

The Grand Madame of the workplace rung me not too long ago. Something bout one of my boys. She wanted him removed. But yet, she didn't want me to do it ~ my guys have got to learn how to deal with things. While I am kinda pissing in my pants over what has happened before I woke up, I am also mightily calm about it in the same token. She's right. With less than a month to go, she's gotta start storing THEIR phone numbers in her mobile so they get their arses chewed out instead.

I am so pleased. She is right ~ It is cause for celebration! And yeah - she's even bringing the champagne!

An Ill Day Ahead

And so, as I wrap up this post for this morning, in between the sniffles and the sneezes ~ I am quite horribly ill right now, all thanks to a certain day of the week! ~ I can't help but wonder what else today would bring my way... Oh well - they don't call em Spring Bunnies for no reason eh?

It's definitely June already!

Time versus...

It's been a dreadfully long day. It's almost midnight and I've just gotten home from work. This.Is.Not.A.Life! Add to that - it was quite irritating that a normal journey home at this hour took twice the time due to cars lining up to tank up.

Yes - our government (whom I firmly believe have gone to the dogs) announced today a reduction in the fuel subsidy, thus increasing petrol prices by MYR 0.78 per litre. I betcha the announcement came in close to knock-off time as that was when nearly all mobile phones in the office went on a rampage of *beeps*

There are pros and cons towards the reduction of the subsidy ~ it might cause people to think twice before buying a bigger, more luxurious car that they can barely afford. It might also cause people to start taking the train to work or car pool. Lord knows our small city has enough of smog ~ according to Monday, it's all plain CO2 out there for us.

The cons would be that it adds to an already increasing level of living in my country. What with the rice shortage and all, a meal out easily knocks MYR 7 off your wallet. I can imagine the conversations that have been, and would be going on about this, and how difficult it's become to make ends meet. Oh and about the country going to the dogs.

While I recognise the fact that this would impact my lifestyle somewhat, I, however did not join the queues of cars that took 20 minutes of my rest time tonight in the delay getting home.

And the reason is quite simply this: I have about another 125 kilometres to go out of my current tank. On average, my lil WiNK mobile does mileage of 450 kilometres out of 30 litres. If I joined the queue, I would have saved about MYR 16.90 for today but it would mean that I'd probably spend 45 minutes waiting in line. Add that to the 20 minutes it's already costed me - you go do the math.

So yeah - being the stubborn arse that I am, I came straight home instead. Cos seriously - an hour of my time, is worth more than MYR 16.90. Afterall, that translates to 2 1/2 packs of my fags. So I'll smoke less that amount this week. I'd probably gain 250 minutes of productivity in that process of smoking less as well.

So there you have it folks. I am not in favour of the country being ran by dogs, but hey! Life - it's all about comparative perspective.

Said Quietly

I have officially been awake for coming close to 24 hours. Crawled to work at 6 yesterday morning with only 2 hours of sleep and I am still wide awake now, almost 2 in the morning.

My mum was right – when she said I have been alone for too long. But she’s right in a way that I don’t think she knows, realizes. Being alone, has taught me to recognize things in an acute manner that I never did before. Maybe it’s because I am finally comfortable with myself, that I am more aware of my surroundings.

What I recognize tonight is this – there are some people that I clicked with instantly and in a level that went way beyond that which most people try achieving. Bear, Mandy, Pups are these people. They are the people that I know who would catch me when I fall off a chair, or at least laugh with me about it. Trust was built in a moment and has lasted. But this thingy with Monday – it’s different and I am slowly beginning to appreciate it for what it is.

Maybe I have always jumped into things, and sometimes it leaves me with battle scars without really knowing why and breaking flower pots that don't belong to me. Or else it leaves me with a bitter after-taste for my condo complex.

It’s not a rat race against time – time is nothing but a perspective that one holds. Bear told me once that you can know a person as well in an hour of play, as in a lifetime. It all depends on your concept of quality and quantity.

I have known Monday for 3 months now, and while it isn’t life changing, I would have to say that Monday has been a breath of fresh air. Last week this time, I was ecstatic ~ could hardly contain myself. Tonight, it’s a quiet calm and Monday became somebody that I sit and talk with, not to. Something’s to be said to the barrier of a name. Feels as though something’s different – in a calmer, quieter note.

All that pent up anger and disgust over the last few days have dissipated. Being the dark and twisted soul that I am, I am wondering where they have all gone to. Did I have an epiphany when I felt that it would all disappear when I tell Monday about it? And if it’s possible that this one person could blow them away and make them seem insignificant, with his questions, not answers or opinions?

And so as the clock turns the hour to 2 am… as I get ready to pack up and head to bed… as Monday drives home with a fever that’s fast burning up… I recognise the following:

1. I don’t always have to drive fast.
2. I don’t always have to have a black-and-white moment of answers.
3. If I have to work hard at making work work out, then I have to apply the same principles to life as well.

What I deem as effort on my part is merely my own interpretation of it. I think if you ask Monday, between his first hot meal in a week (and he’s a hot meal freak) and knowing something about me that he didn’t know before (like how I envision my kids turning out), he’d place the latter as my effort.

I don't have to tell ya this - I think you'd figured it out by now for yourself - the week's gonna fly by and before I know it - It's gonna be Monday yet again. And it's nice to know that no matter how my week turns out, Monday will come round again in 6 days. While it may use to rattle my nerves that it's 6 days away - tonight, it doesn't.

It's nothing but time. And what is time when mere hours make the days in between disappear.

Fish Sticks & Frog Legs!!

Honestly, I think people set out to ruin my day, week AND LIFE! WHAT-THE-FUCK?!

I have just received some very not happy news - NOT HAPPY AT ALL! The one person that I do not ever wish to see, hear off or even be within a hundred metres radius has just very nicely informed me that he has moved into my condo complex.

I'll freaking say it again - WHAT-THE-FUCK?!

Of all the thousands of establishments, he had to bloody go choose mine! This is well and truly shoving his face up the wrong alleyway.

I'll never feel safe going to the shop or my car ever again. I'll have to make sure I do not run out of food or cigarettes. I have to find another place to take my kids swimming.

My life here is ruined! RUINED! All because some idiot didn't have more sense to go "Nah - I shouldn't live in the same place as her." FUCKING HELL!

This is precisely why I choose to rent than buy. At least if it gets bad, I can terminate my lease and move.

I'm gonna have to say it again - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Some Things...

I'm snippy today. I've been biting people's heads off with nasty words and retorts. I woke up on the right side of the bed.... But the day has been a wash out, thru and thru.

I hate it when this happens. When you've waited a really long time for something to happen, and it does, but not in the way you had thought it to be.

Some things.. no matter how many years are in between... they just don't change.

I didn't wait all these years to find it now today. And no, I do not want to talk about it as well.