Empty Chair

It is official - this house has been warmed with the first family dinner held here tonight. Over a feast so nicely sponsored by kind-hearted souls, 5 adults and 5 kids sat down to a night of idle banter and happiness.

Each time I host my family over to dinner at my place, I feel a pang with that left over empty chair. And tonight, it was more profound as somebody sits down to yet another room-service dinner in a room that has become "home" for 2 weeks running now.

"I am so home-sick and so looking forward to being able to come home soon," said the text message yesterday and I really cannot blame him. 2 weeks away is a long time. And while his home may not really feel like home to him, it's the bigger definition that he's falling back on ~ his friends, his routine of activities and hopefully somewhere in that equation, me.

I wrote on the comment box of a friend of mine when he posted his thoughts of missing his partner, that I wished I had his guts. And it's really quite the laugh ~ especially when my 8 year old can say "Just pick up the phone and dial mummy!"

There are certain lines I will not, dare not cross... a year on in - this is still one of them. And quite possibly, there will always be that empty chair at the other end of the table the next time I sit down with my folks, brother and sister-in-law to dinner.

If only there were some other way...

I want to be next to the one I love.

I don’t care what this will cost me.

I don’t care whether this will do my life good or bad.

I don’t care whether this person loves me or not.

All I want, all I need is to be close to the one I love.

The Good Person of Szechuan

Bertold Brecht