It's April already. Which means that it's the birthday month - Luke on 18th and Lydia on 27th.
I had wanted to do something special for them as their pressies this year: making them a scrap book that they can keep and flip thru when they feel like it (cos all the photo albums are packed away ~ far, far away.) And so, last night, I sat down to open the box that has remained sealed, to look for a selection of photographs for each of them.
With Lydia, I was spoilt for choice. Even before her 1st birthday, she had already taken enough pictures to fill one big album. And even her baby book was stuffed with all sorts of things - notes, scribbles and more photos.
Luke on the other hand, I have very little to work with. In fact, it broke my heart that our first picture together was only taken at his christening - 4 months after. His baby book hardly has anything written in it ~ I can't even recall when he took his first steps in my effort to "backtrack" data entry.
"How do I go back to then, to do it right for Luke?" I asked Mandy over lunch today. A rhetorical question I know cos obviously I can't go back in time. And even if I could, do I want to?
They always say, the first few months are the most important months in a child's life. Yet, I missed all of that simply cos I was there yet not quite there. Mandy and mum tried to assure me, it really wasn't all my fault ~ this lapse of memories for my lil boy. "You were grieving" was how Mandy phrased it. But it's no consolation.
Luke between 3 and 6 months
For him to have those cherub cheeks in the photo above, I can stake no claim of pride. For without Mum, he would still be the longbean at that age as he did at birth.
I can only hope that as time passes, I can make amends to this young man, who is above average in intelligence and maturity for a kid his age.
Luke aged 5 and 9 months
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