Al’s last piece entitled “Two Clicks” is a very interesting one – one that hits home on more than one base. It in he says:
“Never mind I may never do anything other than glance over your photo or one-liners. Never mind I'll probably ignore every message, invitation and request you send me and vice-versa. Never mind we may never communicate or do anything resembling what humanity considered a 'relationship' over thousands of years”
I am still trying to decide if the satirical tone this posting of Al’s is meant to say more than it is saying, or is just another musing or observation by Al since his foray into the world of Facebook. I do know that it brought me back to remember my #1 online social community rule – do not add on people you’ve only met once and have 2 lines exchanged. Nor do you add on those you used to know but no longer have any common bonds, except maybe a class photo or two. Those are not friends. They might use to be, but these days - they are just acquaintances.
I’ll admit it here and now that I’m a hard nut to crack on this topic. If you were to ask me to pick twenty people to celebrate an occasion with – I would be very hard-pressed in rustling up them twenty names. For I firmly and strongly believe that I do not need tens and thousands of friends, when a few rare diamonds are enough. And yes, while it is true that diamonds have flaws as well, I believe what we want to look out for are good flaws – flaws that add value to the stone itself.
Lewis B Smedes starts his book ~ Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve with this: If you live long enough, chances are you’ll be hurt by someone you counted on as a friend. And it is a statement that is so true – there’d be times when opinions clash, words are exchanged, feelings hurt. But the words that caught my attention are these: Counted On.
My circle of good friends – Bear, Mandy, Whites, Garlic, Pups – we’ve had our share of “silences” Mandy and I even went for a long period of time of pretending the other was dead cos she told me her opinion of Lydia and Luke’s biological dad and I refused to accept at that time. But over time, I came round to seeing that her intention was good and she came round to seeing that as my friend, she had to be there for the good, the bad and the unmentionable. And years on in - she still is.
Sometimes friends care too much to the point that what you go thru, personally affects them. Pups used to say I drain him each time we speak. I used to wanna poke his eyes out for saying that. But now, I see where he comes from and I’m okay with that. And I know that despite me being draining, if I were to need his help, he's there with Nat in tow!
At the end of the day, people who are genuinely your friends – you know in your heart of hearts, that there was no malice intended. That at the end of the day, it was for the betterment of one or the other, or both. And that if one were to fall, the other would be there to break the fall, no matter what.
And that brings me to something that has been plaguing me. To the point of giving me weird dreams – the sort that leaves you waking up with a bitter aftertaste in the mouth that no amount of mouthwash or toothpaste can take away. And that only happens to me when I try to brush something aside. Dust-bunnies ~ they have their way of getting your attention no matter what.
I really should do the grown-up thing and address the situation in its face but I do not know where to begin cos it is one which makes me feel ugly, hypocritical even. And because of that, it makes me hostile, abrupt and stand-off-ish.
They say, a vase once broken, would never look the same again no matter how well it is put back together. And this is one of those instances. I cannot count on a certain someone, no matter how hard I try and as such, a reclassification is going on in my idealistic mind. And it bothers me, cos I'm just one of those easily bothered persons.
I guess I just wanna stop trying to ‘get back’ to where it was left off and lack the guts to say it out loud.
I guess I do not want to admit that while it is water under the bridge, the corrosion remains.
I guess I do not want to face up to the fact that short of having my head bashed in to the point of being concussed, there is no way in all eternity that I am able to do the latter of “forgive and forget.”
I guess I do not want to reach a point where I have no more benefits to give to doubt, and turn around and spew out the Malay phrase of “ada ular sebalik batu.”
Why am I putting it all down here? Cos I am frankly exhausted of going thru this scenario. It. Is. Draining. And. Exhausting. And I have no more energy left to expand, even though I sit here and twiddle thumbs all day.
Maybe some things were better left as they were. After all, people grow, evolve and change. And over time, one would come to accept it as part and parcel of life. I suppose if I try really hard, I can move from my ideals and accept this as one of those Two Clicks and leave it at that.
I shall think about if I even wanna try to do that. Or just leave it at that as everyone tells me to.
“Never mind I may never do anything other than glance over your photo or one-liners. Never mind I'll probably ignore every message, invitation and request you send me and vice-versa. Never mind we may never communicate or do anything resembling what humanity considered a 'relationship' over thousands of years”
I am still trying to decide if the satirical tone this posting of Al’s is meant to say more than it is saying, or is just another musing or observation by Al since his foray into the world of Facebook. I do know that it brought me back to remember my #1 online social community rule – do not add on people you’ve only met once and have 2 lines exchanged. Nor do you add on those you used to know but no longer have any common bonds, except maybe a class photo or two. Those are not friends. They might use to be, but these days - they are just acquaintances.
I’ll admit it here and now that I’m a hard nut to crack on this topic. If you were to ask me to pick twenty people to celebrate an occasion with – I would be very hard-pressed in rustling up them twenty names. For I firmly and strongly believe that I do not need tens and thousands of friends, when a few rare diamonds are enough. And yes, while it is true that diamonds have flaws as well, I believe what we want to look out for are good flaws – flaws that add value to the stone itself.
Lewis B Smedes starts his book ~ Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve with this: If you live long enough, chances are you’ll be hurt by someone you counted on as a friend. And it is a statement that is so true – there’d be times when opinions clash, words are exchanged, feelings hurt. But the words that caught my attention are these: Counted On.
My circle of good friends – Bear, Mandy, Whites, Garlic, Pups – we’ve had our share of “silences” Mandy and I even went for a long period of time of pretending the other was dead cos she told me her opinion of Lydia and Luke’s biological dad and I refused to accept at that time. But over time, I came round to seeing that her intention was good and she came round to seeing that as my friend, she had to be there for the good, the bad and the unmentionable. And years on in - she still is.
Sometimes friends care too much to the point that what you go thru, personally affects them. Pups used to say I drain him each time we speak. I used to wanna poke his eyes out for saying that. But now, I see where he comes from and I’m okay with that. And I know that despite me being draining, if I were to need his help, he's there with Nat in tow!
At the end of the day, people who are genuinely your friends – you know in your heart of hearts, that there was no malice intended. That at the end of the day, it was for the betterment of one or the other, or both. And that if one were to fall, the other would be there to break the fall, no matter what.
And that brings me to something that has been plaguing me. To the point of giving me weird dreams – the sort that leaves you waking up with a bitter aftertaste in the mouth that no amount of mouthwash or toothpaste can take away. And that only happens to me when I try to brush something aside. Dust-bunnies ~ they have their way of getting your attention no matter what.
I really should do the grown-up thing and address the situation in its face but I do not know where to begin cos it is one which makes me feel ugly, hypocritical even. And because of that, it makes me hostile, abrupt and stand-off-ish.
They say, a vase once broken, would never look the same again no matter how well it is put back together. And this is one of those instances. I cannot count on a certain someone, no matter how hard I try and as such, a reclassification is going on in my idealistic mind. And it bothers me, cos I'm just one of those easily bothered persons.
I guess I just wanna stop trying to ‘get back’ to where it was left off and lack the guts to say it out loud.
I guess I do not want to admit that while it is water under the bridge, the corrosion remains.
I guess I do not want to face up to the fact that short of having my head bashed in to the point of being concussed, there is no way in all eternity that I am able to do the latter of “forgive and forget.”
I guess I do not want to reach a point where I have no more benefits to give to doubt, and turn around and spew out the Malay phrase of “ada ular sebalik batu.”
Why am I putting it all down here? Cos I am frankly exhausted of going thru this scenario. It. Is. Draining. And. Exhausting. And I have no more energy left to expand, even though I sit here and twiddle thumbs all day.
Maybe some things were better left as they were. After all, people grow, evolve and change. And over time, one would come to accept it as part and parcel of life. I suppose if I try really hard, I can move from my ideals and accept this as one of those Two Clicks and leave it at that.
I shall think about if I even wanna try to do that. Or just leave it at that as everyone tells me to.
*Sigh* This is just getting way too Jane Austen for my liking!
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