A Fresh Chapter

ob⋅li⋅ga⋅tion ~ noun

1. Something by which a person is bound or obliged to do certain things, and which arises out of a sense of duty or results from custom, law, etc.
2. Something that is done or is to be done for such reasons
3. A binding promise, contract, sense of duty, etc.
4. The act of binding or obliging oneself by a promise, contract, etc.
5. A debt of gratitude

One of the things that has changed about life as I know it (even though technically, there should not be any changes!!) is the reconnection of old ties. Ties that got severed when bridges burnt down. Ties that extend from my own self to Lydia and Luke. And for the better part, the tale of reconnection is not mine. It is theirs.

We begin life with few obligations. We pledge allegiance to the flag. We swear to return our library books.

For all their lives, when one mentions 'grandparents', these two only know of my mum and dad. They are the ones they see, day in, day out. They are the ones who nurse them when they are ill, dance with joy when they get great exam scores and beam with pride at each and every school function.

They have always known they have another set of grandparents somewhere out there, but it has never been a subject of discussion due to some persona non grata thingy. This other set are virtual strangers to my kids.

But as we get older we take vows, make promises, get burden by commitments, to do no harm, to tell the truth and nothing but, to love, to cherish till death do us part.

Tonight they will meet them, in person, technically for the first time. And both sides are nervous as hell, with me stuck in between. 

Luke and Lydia both have questions - plenty. Where have they been? What are their names? Do they know who we are? And my folks and I have been trying our level best to prepare them for the meeting ~ yes, these sort of meetings cannot be left to chance so some preparation needs to be done and out of the way first.

I have given them a rough physical description. Have told them the language barrier challenge. And the very high likelihood of how they might want to "hold your hand, touch your face, give you a bear hug" because they are a reminder of what is now gone.

So we just keep running up the tab 'til we owe everything to everybody and suddenly ... what the.

I also know that the unsaid behind this first step is that I am effectively casting my children into a different set of cultural shoes. From now on, Luke is the eldest grandchild. If we were royalties, he would now be the first in line. And with that, in our culture would come certain responsibilities that would need fulfilling when the time comes.

I also know the old folks would not ask this of me but I could not possibly be so callous as to always leave the offering to come from their end. I would have to occasionally consider doing a road-trip with the kids so they "go home" instead.

And I am wondering if this would keep up.

So we do what any sane person would do. We run like hell from our promises, hoping they'll be forgotten. But sooner or later, they always catch up. 

Regardless of what happens from here on out, it would have to be something I factor into my life, our lives. But as with everything else that I have done in the last 4 days, I'm not dreading it. In fact, I am pleased that the children would get to know a different side of their life.

After all... sooner or later, this would all have had to take place anyways.

And sometimes you find the obligation you dread the most isn't worth running from at all.