I wrote a whole lot over the weekend but I have gone and deleted them all. It was nothing but rants, so WTF should it be doing here?!
It’s been raining. Heavy, big droplets that go splat instead of splash. It’s a nice sound to wake up to, provided one does not need to go to work. Yeah – considering I didn’t have to go to work on Saturday, IT WAS NICE!
It’s been a strange and partly surreal weekend and I am resisting the urge to go sit on my balcony and think about it. Yes – I have found the “pause” button on my brain and it’s helping. But nonetheless, the wonderment beckons. Maybe I should blog it out, just so it gets out of this wee head that’s already jammed packed.
Crazy, now what'cha doing?
Just the same, well I think I'm right
Crazy how fast you're moving
As our friendship pays for your lonely night
One of my wonderments revolves around a tale of 31s. Yes – a tale of 31s ~ the number being an age and the ‘s’ signifying more than 1 person of that age. And my thought goes like this – how could two people, who are quite alike in some ways, be so different in others?! Honestly, if they were both rolled into one, I would be one happy girl this week, month, year – whatever. But they are not and I am caught in the middle.
Loverboy, lovergirl,
You need a song to sleep to and morning to sleep thru
And have it your way.
One has no right to neither stay nor play, yet so desperately wants to. The other, has all the freedom and opportunity to, yet chooses to pick and bid his time. One I would run the opposite direction from, and the other – I would give up my sleep to drive and have breakfast with on my day off.
For a brief spell in the last two days, I have been wondering how did I land here?! *Hmmm* maybe there is some truth in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book when it was said that once the barrier has been lifted, the world would rush in to fill the vacuum. For I have known one for coming to a year now (Wowzers – has it been that long?!) and it is only now that we’re actually getting to know each other.
So.Not.Good.
It's okay to dance around it and have it your way
Laugh about it, oh for goodness sake
Don't believe in anything that's keeping you awake
I really should not think about this. Life has been without drama and it has been good. My stride has been lighter and my head less messed up. My smile has also been wider and well, my words less sharp.
But nonetheless, despite all that good, healthy things listed above – I am still cold. Oh yeah. It is a fact when I can so non-chalantly state that I am cruel and cold, but hey – don’t take it personally.
I'm feeling all sentimental and feeling all thru my head
I'm feeling all very sexual but feeling all by myself instead
*Sigh* I hate to say it. But I am a little intrigued as to how this lil game is gonna play itself out. Maybe it’s the psycho in me. Maybe it’s some unfulfilled dark wish to vent and exact pain. Maybe it’s me becoming unraveled a lil late in the day.
You better have it your way anytime.
You better have it you way with yourself and only yourself
You better have it yours and baby you know that I'll have mine.
Oh well… Like I said – really shouldn’t think about this. Should just shut off the phone and go underground and let all this be just as it is ~
This is a conscious conversation with myself
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