Atonement

I wanted to see a friendly face. To hear words from someone who's known me far longer than anyone I know today. So I went and sat at J&R with my old school chum after work yesterday over wine and Guinness.

Maybe she made sense. Nothing she said hasn't been said before. (At this point of my writing, I am laughing hysterically cos of a typo that I have just corrected ~ muscle memory I was told before)

I can't make sense of why I woke up at 4 to watch footy and then a movie I've been wanting to catch. I can't make sense as to why I am watching dawn break over the dark blue sky and I am crying. I can't make sense to what I am crying for, or who I am crying for.

I am sorry. So very sorry. I didn't know, didn't see that you tried. Nobody can tell me otherwise in a manner that I would believe. Not even you then. Maybe in another time, we're both not where we are today. Maybe in another time, we really did manage to work it out.

I'm just sorry... so very sorry I didn't try harder.