Understanding...

When I was 16, I had a best buddy. We did everything together then as kids in high school. And not a day went by without us doing something or other.

When we were 19, I introduced this girl to him and finally, my best buddy had a girlfriend. God was I pleased for him cos she was my friend as well. We even spent 1 magical Christmas together with me and my then-chappie. When he left for Australia, I sat with her as she cried her heart out. And I continuously reminded him how not to let her down and all that.

One fine day, I remember a call from him.. in a chillingly cold voice, he told me that he didn't think we should be friends anymore. Cos his girlfriend wasn't comfortable with our friendship. She felt threatened. And so, he was not gonna be keeping in contact anymore.

So many years on.. I still remember him.. and I do still wonder how he is and such. I heard they didn't last long after that.

I never understood why he could let me - his good old friend go just like that. For a girl. And I have always wondered if our friendship was that non-plus that he could drop me like a hat.

13 years on.. I am trying to understand it again. Cos it's happened again. And it's funny cos just today, another one of those I call close to me said in his mail, that no matter what happens, he knows that I will always be one of the people closest to him.

As so I painfully remove all traces of evidence of ever being friends with my once best-buddy just so his girlfriend would not go all trauma-like by the presence of me... I am wondering why do people use the word "always" as though it doesn't mean anything. And also this...

If everyone's intent was to leave in the end... why then in the first place, try so hard to convince me to believe what I otherwise believed?

I am seeking to understand. Dear God.. I honestly do.