I had yet another near fall-out with my best buddy this morning… as we stood over the ledge of a drain, he grew increasing frustrated at how I am intentionally disobeying his wished, and I grew increasing disenchanted with how everyone thinks I should lead my life.
I wished we didn’t have to have this scenario play out at least once a week. But for it not too, would entail one of the following:
1) Best buddy or I cutting each other out from our respective lives,
2) Best buddy coming to terms with Barbsie’s world,
3) Barbsie doing what Best Buddy wants her to do.
I’m not complaining, nor am I bitching. I’m just frustrated cos Best Buddy and I parted ways as we did not want to continue walking on eggshells around each other.. and here we are – back at square one. Bon Jovi sang it in a song - It might be hard to be lovers but its harder to be friends. And it's so true in this instance.
And as I have the song play over and over and over again, to silence the maggots screaming in my head.. I want to laugh out loud. Cos isn’t it funny how some songs, just have all the right words in it? Maybe that what make songwriters good and albums sell. Cos 8 lil notes, strung together with words made up from 26 alphabets in someone else’s hands, can project what is hidden in your head.
Don't mind me today. I’m just sad. Sad that my best person on earth, who can share every other aspect of my life with me, cannot share this phase of my life with me. I don’t know how else to say it… I just don’t. Each time we try to talk about it, it just escalates into an argument.
I just wished that we could talk till we’re not strangers anymore.
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