Sham I am

For some strange reason today, I just had a sinking, stinking feeling hit about me. Call it being psychic. Call it a six-sense. I’d just think it’s basic instinct. Your inner self telling you that something bad is gonna happen to you, and your own self-preservation sense kicks in. Unfortunately, it didn’t leave me enough time to run and hide.

Everybody go ~ the party's over
I want to be alone in my head, in my bed tonight
You never show - you must really love her
You think I don't know
But I do, yeah it's true I think over is over

My best friend asked me a question that I could not lie my way out of. And well, try as she may to convince me this time that I am a diamond – well, we pick the worst of battles.

I know where I'm going
I'm tripping I'm sliding around
That's ok ~ at least I'm excited
It wasn't how I planned it
Feet are where I landed
At least I understand it now
My feet are where I landed
Feet are staying on the ground

How could I be so blind?! So damn blind?!

I'm right back where I started
When it comes to wanting you
I can't have what I wanted

I want to scream. I want to break something. I want to get in my car and drive out to the port so I could sit and watch the ships go by.

But I did, I can I was, I am
Only human ~ living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind, if love's a drug
It always is ~ it always was and
Maybe it's the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools

But you know what – I swear on this day, this moment ~ I.Am.Not.Gonna.Let.THIS.Happen.To.Me- AGAIN!

Never again. This girl is so done picking up pieces of herself.

I’m a great sham, I am. And I'm done lying about it.