The Author would like to start off by declaring that she has been awake since Sunday lunchtime... as such, her thoughts, as normal as they may sound, should not be taken seriously. At.All.
I think today… tonight.. I’m gonna do things differently. Can’t really elaborate in great details here.. and if I told WhiteBoy (who is probably the only person I would likely ever tell what the Grand Plan is), he’ll smack me on the head and walk away.
It’s the only way I know how… apart from doing the unthinkable… or serving the Barbsie Usual (it’ll come to ya soon enough what the Barbsie Usual is)… it might work, it might not… and a great big part of me says that even if it does work, I wouldn’t really hear about it… but I think I’d know it.
Monday always tells me – only I can assess my own risk portfolio.. That bankers can only analyse so much… and so, this is me… Having assessed my own risk portfolio and deciding that I can tolerate a wee bit of risk. At the end of the day, I can’t lose… not cos I’m confident of the outcome – I’m shaking like jello right now… but cos you can’t lose something you never had in the first place. And hence, I can take a bit of risk, just this once for starters.
I know I’d probably feel differently hours from now. I know I’d probably end up not doing what I have decided I will do, when the sun comes up. But for now… it’s the right thing to do for me.
Cos for once, I think I’d like to know what it’s like to be FREE.
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