Failure to Launch

im·ple·ment ~ verb (used with object)

1. To fulfill; perform; carry out
2. To put into effect according to or by means of a definite plan or procedure.

Anyways, as I said in a quick post while having my late first fag of day, I only manage to sleep at 4 this morning. What was I doing from the time I turned off the lights at half 11 till then? Well... there was a bit of pottering around the house.. there was a spot of reading (how I have missed reading Bill Bryson!!) ... there was some staring up at the ceiling fan and planning ... and then there was a whole lot of thinking while playing high stakes computer poker.

In the span of some 4 1/2 hours, I must say, I came up with this brilliant scenario of What-if. And in my head, it was pretty much foul-proof. It had all the right elements - what I would do if this happens, and what I would do if that happened. I kinda went to bed, pretty smug that I had it all planned out.

I will always remember at my farewell dinner, my ex-boss paid me a compliment when he mentioned that his friends felt our outlets were paper transformed ~ i.e. I had successfully taken what was on paper and materialised it. I had implemented it as closely as I could and that was the end result.

So here I am, this gloomy London-skied morning, wondering HOW ON EARTH COULD I HAVE SCREWED UP SO BADLY AN HOUR AGO?! Especially when I had the what-ifs drawn up!!!

It's not even a poor attempt with lots of erms-and-haws! It was a complete failure to launch! A complete failure of implementation! Now we have to find a way to bin the plan away so that I can sleep tonight!

I'm so lame!