32 and 1 more

I am 32 years and 51 weeks old… Every year, I make it a point to sit down and reflect by myself on the year past. And with 7 days left to go, I suppose I should not put it off much longer. Seeing how I have just celebrated my birthday in advance in a very impromptu fashion and having a very expensive 4 shots of premium coffee liqueur tequila traversing thru my system – what better time than now eh?

Patron XO Cafe (Coffee Liqueuer with Tequila)

I don’t have to go thru my blog to recall what it was I thought of the Year that was 31. I can still remember that on a whole lot of achievements and one big disappointment. In a way, one could say I had almost everything a year ago – a good tight circle of friends, great colleagues, and a job I adored and immensely enjoyed, but I was not happy (tho for the life of me now I cannot recall what the ONE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT IS!!)

In comparison, this year – this year appears to be the reverse - not a whole lot of achievements and seemingly, nothing but disappointments. I mean, I don’t see as much of some of my close friends as I used to do. Some days, I don’t particularly feel excited about going to work. Plus, 3 years on I still unlock the front door and the only sound is the sound of me taking off my shoes by the foyer shelf.

Yet, it doesn’t quite bother me as much as it used to. So it must be this (and it’s not the tequila talking) – I am contented.

I wake up each day and wonder what surprises the day would bring. And I’m beginning to find joy in the little things like teaching my kids the word “apocalypse” and its meaning (a big disaster that could bring the world to an end where everybody dies!). I don’t go without dinner, even if it’s just a piece of toast and a glass of chocolate milk just cos there’s no one to eat with me. And when I lay my head down on my pillow to sleep each night, it’s with a smile on my face cos it was a good day.

I used to think that we should not jinx the flow of good fortune by pondering on it. But now I count each day as a blessing – that I had a genuine reason to smile, laugh and walk with a spring in my step.

I have a feeling it’s gonna be a thrilling year – being 33. It may not be all good days, and as life goes – there’s bound to be instances where the phrase “it’s my heart, my liver and my sanity” would be uttered at least once. But for once, I am pretty sure that I will walk out of whatever challenges that come my way this year, with my head held high and my soul still intact.

If you were to ask my mum tonight if she thought I was happy – I can bet you my bottom dollar that she would say yes. Cos she’s not seen the ME that I have been off-late in a very long while.

The best bit of it would be - It’s got nothing to do with a boy. But everything to do with me being ME.