Land mines

Where we advance, retreat, try to remove all the land mines...

I'm in this place today. This place where nobody can reach me. I know. I couldn't find a rock, so I decided to wedge myself into this place instead. It's been a long time since I came back to this place. But you know what, it's comforting.

Just like my smelly blankey is. Or the numbness that creeps up your body as you load it up with one kind of drowsy medication after another. Or the euphoria that sweeps over you as you down one shot of vodka after another.

I must remember today. I must. For to forget it would only bring about my own downfall.

And just when you think you've won the battle,
made the world safe again.

Never again, will another person bring me to my knees and make me seek out that place. Never again, for as long as I shall live. I cannot self-destruct one more time. There would be nothing left to destroy.

Along comes another land mine.

I know I'm being irrational. And I'm probably making you feel frustrated that you can't pull me out. But you know better than to try and do that. That given time, and space, I'll find a reason to come out again. And as for the rest of you - welcome to Wisteria Lane! Hope this makes for good reading. Lord knows how boring I've been lately without my dramas and what-have-you not!

Yes, we all love Barbsie when she's dark and twisted like so. For doesn't it say in Famous Last Words:

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone