Friday, November 21, 2008

Six Words

I was scouring Amazon.com for books to buy yesterday and I came across this one book that was a collection of statements made with 6 words. No more. No less.

It has been a topsy-turvey last 24 hours. And I am fighting the urge to go to where it all began. When curiosity found the cat, killed it and hung it by the tail to the fan, without even asking if it was the right cat.
I.Don't.Want.To.Go.There

Many, many moons ago, over a cuppa Joe, someone told me - a poet needs the pain. I did not think then that it would be something that I might possibly turn into my mantra for my art of living. But looking at the events of today, I think I subsciously already have.
Despair. Pain. Remember. Pain. Forget. Pain.

It is a wee funny thing how nobody I spoke to was directly on my side. Them who listened, listened and loved. In the best way they could when I am in that place. Somedays I truly think I need some happy-pill help. But then I sit back when the dust has settled, and the voices of them who love ring in my head, and it's basically that ain't it - it's all in my head. From start to finish.
Think. Right. Wrong. Lies. Truth. Ponder.

Why can't we make our own luck? Afterall, the future lies in our own hands, doesn't it? We always have a choice - to do or not to do, to speak or not to speak, to hate or not to hate, to believe or not to believe, to hope or not to hope. The last statement that was on my mind before I drifted off into euphoria-land was this: SOMEONE needs to have some hope when it comes to dealing with you. Am I always that hopeless?
Believe. Change. Try. Try Again. Harder.

I think at the end of the day, Whites said it best: Do nothing or do something. You can sit there by yourself and let all this happen to you. And no one would have been the wiser. And it is so true cos there is no way to bring up today's events without spilling the beans.
Smoke. Drink. Weep. Rage. Sleep. Silence.

I don't like being in this place. It makes me feel sick. Diseased. Less than what I am. And I don't like to swing from one end to the other either. It makes me give up control and I hate that. I can't say I do not know where to begin, for I do. But at the same time, I cannot say I am ready to begin. But I want to.

There's only so much we can help,
and so much we can hurt.
Forgive yourself.

Find. Communicate. Evaluate. Release. Go On.

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