Two Dogs and a Happy Frog

People rarely surprise me, especially those I count in my inner circle of friends. Maybe my blessed big ears enable me to pick up on the subtle innuendoes that eventually lead to the big story. Or maybe my years of bitter-sweet torture at Fairview has sharpen my skills of seeing the Big Picture almost instantaneously, that nothing surprises me very much anymore.

It's very hard to describe the multitude of emotions and thoughts that are going thru my mind right now. It's like a freaking roller-coaster ride and I'm torn between screaming "I wanna get off RIGHT NOW!" or throw my hands up in the air, close my eyes and let the thrill run its course.

Sometime last week, I wrote about Dreams - and that we should all take time to indulge in them and muster the courage to go after them. But I never really thought I'd see someone actually pick up that challenge and pull me along as they run after the ball.

Sure, I have big dreams - like opening a variation of Fifteen here in Malaysia and doing the two things that I love most - F&B and Help Change lives. One fine day when it happens, I've been told I should call it 20ne (twenty-one for those who didn't get that). There's also that big old tired dream of opening my own Spanish-styled B&B. But if ever there was a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG), I heard it today, tonight, right here in the living room of my pigeon hole.

Why did I buy in to it? Was it so audacious to the point of being infectious? I mean, it's freaking half past one and my mind is working at warp speed here while I try unsuccessfully to slow it down so I can sleep tonight. Is this another instance of "If I could do anything at all, I'll do it for you"? And if it is so, where in damnation have I gone and left my sanity at?!

Alwyn wrote in his latest posting that we could either choose to do things within our Circle of Concern or within our Circle of Influence. And that if we chose the latter, it expands and reduces the former. I’d like to think that if applied correctly, my skill sets and my experience would form this Circle of Influence and thus over time reduce my Circle of Concern.

At the end of a day like this, when I have jumped right in eyes wide shut... try as I may not to, I still ask "Why ME"? What have I done that made you think you can entrust this on to me, and making me a part of it? What have I done that made you think I can see what you see, and I can feel what you feel?

But more importantly I ask – What if I let you down?

Like I said – it feels like a freaking roller coaster ride. And it’s massively freaking me out – throwing me to the deep end of the pool and I’ll either sink or swim. And I am farking scared shitless. How could it be that ONE person can have such an impact on my life that there is nothing that I would not do, just to see that smile on that face…

*Sigh* I suppose I’m just overwhelmed at half past one in the morning… overwhelmed with the thought of two dogs and a frog.

I think I shall just go sleep on it.