Desire

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life.

Yesterday was a good day, considering it started out with me trying to block out that it was the start of the weekend. Manage to squeeze in seeing all my boys, except for one. But then again, I see him more often than the others. And I made the acquaintance of a very decent and sweet chap. Where that could go - it remains yet to be seen.

It was a good day as it was laced with some profound conversation pieces! My dahlings seem to think that I'm adrift yet again, with the most asked question of the night being "What is it that you want?!"

Well, at 2 in the morning, I guess it had to be talked out. And my simple conclusion is as follows:

• I want my life to remain as it is, with some slight improvement re where I live, the car I drive, the money I make.
  
• I want to be free to do the things that I want to do, without having to take yet another person into account.
• I want to belong to someone, but not be caught in a choke-hold.

So there... 3 simple statements of fact. Sounds simple written down, but we all know deep-down, that to achieve it, it's gonna take a whole lot more.

But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.

And with that, because they don't think I'm happy, their conclusion: I don't know what I want. *ha*