Thursday, July 24, 2008

All Good Things

Ah it’s a brand new day. I had a bit of trouble figuring out what day it was this morning as I lazed in bed. Yes – it’s Thursday already – time flies!

As I wrote last night off my mobile (yes – the wonders of technology!!), yesterday ended on a high note, hanging out with the boys – Garlic and White. Needless to say, when the 3 of us get together we do 1) bitch about people we know and 2) exchange notes on sex.

On topic 1: Garlic thinks that I should have just held on a wee bit more and I would have gotten what I wanted out at the old place. Whites is stunned that I am idling my time away. I thought the both of them looked ready to burst open and die right there by the pool table from work overload.

On topic 2: Whites has just got way to much going on, and I had to remind him on the additional cost all these activities adds to his already stretched expense list. Garlic has to play his cards right and “get his head in the game.” Me – heading right down the road to perdition and a down right disappointment to these 2 who considers me the guru of the game.

It was absolute good fun to be able to let my hair down and just be myself. I didn’t even give a damn that I was not in clubbing clothes and my hair wasn’t washed, but tied up in a simple chignon. We could share secrets that we would never tell anybody else for fear of being judged. And that was what I meant when I say it was not exhausting to be with them.

Sure, I got knocked on the head a few times by Whites but they didn’t make me feel like I was committing some great cardinal sin. They gave their views on what I should do next but yet accepted that it might just be alright to leave things as they are.

I wrote yesterday about my circle of friends. A pretty damning and angry piece. Hell – that’s how I feel about it and it still stays with me. I’m not even gonna begin to make some form of apology for my harshness cos I wouldn’t be fair to myself if I pretended to feel even the slightest bit of remorse.

I feel like I have been pulled in way too many directions lately and in part, The Shooter contributed largely to it. People read about my life here and draw their conclusions from their interpretation. Now here’s the deal – if you cared enough, you’d be hearing it from me and not reading about it, like some lil sneak peaking thru the kitchen window. And then I get hit out-of-the-blue with someone’s off-the-cuff opinion.

I have no issue with this sneak-peak thing. I just have issue when you think by virtue of reading, you have the right to tell me what I should or should not do.

At the end of the day, it’s quite simple and I intend to keep it that way. Life – it’s a two way street – you give a little, you get a little. Everybody has everyone’s best interest at heart. But there comes a time, when you have to learn that what you have in mind, may not go hand-in-hand with what the other person wants, seeks.

I’m not about to go burning bridges over something so small. But with the sense that it would eventually escalate to a seething, red boil of contention, I’m pulling the plug on it.

My blog header says this: A chemical shooter is a drink consisting of a sweet mango liquer, a cognac lime mix, a bitter concoction that’s blue in colour, and a lychee liquer that’s sweet. It’s Barbsie's tale of life’s journey where your senses are exposed to a series of sweet, sour and bitter experiences. But if you persist, you will find the sweet again.

As Sen once said ~ you don’t really need to blog your thoughts when you have real people who actually listen to you. It’s been one hell of a ride these last 1 year and 3 months. I am pleased to say that my label count does indeed see me persisting and finding the sweet again.

It’s been a journey of awesome self-discovery. I had dreams of speaking and now I speak. Life has reached a point where I can continue on without the need of a blog, an avenue to expand my thoughts.

Thank you to those who made it a point each day to stop by, for whatever reasons you felt you had to. I hope you enjoyed the laughs, the songs and the drinks as much as I did!

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