What a Blur

Okay - I finally got the snooze I have been deprived off. Looking back, I think it was a serious case of restlessness that got to me. Restlessness from the lack of activity. While I have been lounging it off here and there, I guess it had to manifest itself somehow so that I would finally sit up and say "This is So Not Good!"

I can't believe tho' that I have subjected myself to almost 3 weeks of this sitting around and doing nothing very much. This is SO NOT ME!!! And it's gotta come to an end soon. My boss reckons that once August kicks in and we have ten days to get some 40 kids on a Dublin-bound plane, I'd feel much better with myself.

Hello! This is ME we're talking about. The person who got a cafe opened in 24 hours - from architectural hand-over to food-tasting to service-testing to commissioning! If you thought Restaurant Makeover was crazy - you ain't seen nothing yet! So please don't go telling me that putting 40 semi-adults on a plane in ten days is madness. It ain't.

Nonetheless, I guess THAT is something to look forward to, for lack of anything else better to do.

Anyways, I decided today to put my evening to good use - in no particular order:

1. Pick up Monday's birthday present (and it's a bloody good thing I'm getting it 2 weeks in advance cos the modification of it is gonna take 2 weeks!)
2. Go visit Mandy in her house
3. Get the candles for Dad that he requested for
4. Have myself a proper meal for dinner

And now here I am, trying to make some sense of the muddle in this thing we call my head.

It's been a right blur... I even lost count of what day it was today... And I'm not too sure if I should be glad that it's already Thursday tomorrow and the weekend would soon be upon us... Or should I be dreading that the week is coming to an end and... And a new week would soon begin.

I can be at so many other places right now, than where I am. Indeed. But yet, I choose not to. I feel like Vera, the main character in the book I've just finished (The Woman Who Waited by Andrei Makine)... Someone trapped in between space and time... knowingly and willing trapped. For I could have chosen to...

... Stay on in the mad-house with its whirlwind of activities, but in truth, I could do that for the next 4 years and be getting no where closer to my own goals.

... Go sit at some club somewhere with WhiteBoy, drink and talk till the cows come home, but in truth, that would not rid me of the conversation build-up in my head.

... Be at my folks' place, watching my kids watch Dibo the Gift Dragon, but in truth, that would not change their day, any more than me not being there.

... Have dinner with Charlie, and silently watch him try to weasal his way back into my life, but in truth, that would not satisfy the sense of connection that I seek.

See I told ya the mind is a right blur. Maybe a shot of Red Hair would set it right again. But then again... we all know that's not gonna do either. There appears to be one antidote and one only, which itself is a poisoned cup to drink from.

Poision and Cure... Emotions and Logic... Maybe life is a blend of both ... And we just have to take care in the measure which we deal each portion out...

What a blurry mess this task we call Life... If only we had recipe cards for it!