The Shooter entered new territories today and I am proud and pleased to see it come to this stage. It hit a record number of hits today, and it's pretty much thanks to one new reader, who I am surprised to see, interested to follow the links and read on.
Those of you who follow, would know that this is my rant box, my virtual dumping ground. My version of no-holds barred on my life, the everyday that I go through, the things I think about. It's not something I go out and broadcast (Hey! Check out my blog!) because sometimes in my rant, I know I would surely offend.
I have in the past, imposed sanctions on persons much written about. I have also, come to terms that to know me the best, it is thru The Shooter. Which is probably why I choose to do what I did today.
par·ent ~ noun
- One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.
- An ancestor; a progenitor.
- An organism that produces or generates offspring.
- A guardian; a protector.
Most people are lucky to have a full-set of parents. And for those who don't, I can only pray that they are as lucky as my Lydia and Luke to have persons stepping forward to fill their world endlessly with the love that a father should give.
One of the things that I wonder about a lot as these two rug-rats of mine grow, is what kind of relationship would we have in ten years (when she's 17 and he's 15). Would they yell and scream at me, telling me "You don't understand me!" Or would they come by the room at night and say "Mum, have you got a minute to listen?"
We all have our own versions of the ideal parent-child relationship. It could be the type that we share with our own parents or it could be something we've read about or watched on the telly. Truth be told, there is no one ideal status of relationship when it comes down to parent and child. Cos as we grow older, so do they.
I remember enjoying a very close bond with my dad but over the years, the one who is in the know with what's going on with my life (or at least lil bits of it) has been my mum. I'm not sure if what she gets from me, she passes on to dad - I can only assume it's mentioned in passing at times.
But lately, as I recollect the conversations I have had with dad, it has always been rather business-like ~ talking about the weather, about colleagues, about bosses, about crisis at work. Never truly about what we each thought and felt - the several occassions would normally come to a heed with someone blowing up or just staying mum.
It's never really dawn on me that the "closeness" was superficial - it may have had breath but it lacked depth. And it's not something I want to continue.
Our parents are our safe haven. They are the ones who would sit with you, hold your hand and tell you you're gonna be alright. But they can only do that if we allow them to. And honestly, I have not. I have been keeping them at bay.
And that's probably why I sent Dad an email with a link to something I wrote earlier today - adding with jest that if he didn't hear from me, the link would roughly give him an indication on where I can be found.
I didn't really count on him hopping, skipping and running through the blog but he did.
*Pause*
It's unchartered waters - this much I know. I remember Pups anguishing over what to write after his mum found his blog. But to do that - impose censorship on myself, my thoughts, would be akin to placing myself under the ISA, minus the front-page publicity.
Dinner was kinda awkward, I thought. I think Dad's trying to make sense on the facets of Barbsie that he has read about. I think he's trying to reconcile his little girl with the unseen face behind the words of The Shooter. It's tough and I do not want to be in his place right now when it comes down to this.
But hey - it's kinda liberating. Cos at least I know now, if he keeps up a following, he'll know where I am in life. And if the basic parenting instinct kicks in, he'll fish me out of the deep end of the ocean if he reads of me doing my occassional drowning.
So Dad - you're very welcomed here, as my Irish bosses would say.. Wave back with a smile!
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