Fifty past midnight...

One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked.

I was reading Otto’s blog posting last night, about mourning. And a melancholic thought struck me as I watched Plain White Ts video that she had embedded with her posting on Mourning ~ How we sometimes do not say the things we well and truly want to say, until it’s too late.

Here I am on the phone again and...
Awkward silences on the other end
I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice
But right now all I feel is the pain of fighting starting up again

And I could so identify with Otto’s sentiments, about how her email exchanges with her ex is like a roller-coaster ride.. cos that’s who we are as human beings. A thought pops into mind, but we sit there and mull over it as if it was a piece of truffle that the dog unearthed and brought home, not sure what to do with it. And we bottle them up like some secret treasure that we found.

That's the problem with secrets -- like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.

Tis sad that two people who came together because of the comfort levels they sought and found together, could fall out of it.

All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind,
All the things we laugh about they'll bring us through it every time,
After time, after time

What happened that made one think to themselves that they should just “sit down, shut up and not say anything”?


The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore.

And maybe that’s what I’ve been trying to do – not hide behind any more secrets or walk on eggshells.

Now I'm wondering if things will ever change
When will you laugh again ~ laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise 'til 3 am,
And the neighbors would complain

The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.

Cos I’m becoming increasing uncomfortable around you, with you. I don’t know what goes on in your head, and as such. And I’m feeling slightly sad cos when that happens, one of us stays away. And it’s not right.

Friends don’t do this.

If you just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything