For the rest of the year...

It's my birthday. And I should really put my thoughts down on the day that I arrived butt-naked into the world 32 years ago.

I've never been big on birthdays. I used to. Until it started to disappoint me in some small way. Throughout the whole of today, the only thought I really tried to grapple with was the thought of trying to remember when was the last time I really enjoyed and appreciated the 28th of August. I couldn't.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
And hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

And even for this year, the run up to today was filled with untold amount of stress. Stress on keeping a lid on myself, my head, my mind and my jar full of maggots. So many things could have set me back and have me doing shooters after shooters at Laundry.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

But I guess somewhere along the last 365 days, I must have chalked up some good karma points. For today - could not have been any better than I ever wished for.

Maybe I'm a girl
And maybe I'm a lonely girl who's in the middle of something
That she doesn't really understand

I may not have received any presents that cost an arm and a leg. From the kind words of wishes that my new "family" said to me.. to the biggest hug my best buddy could give me. And how one person went out of his way to make today the day he thought it should be.

From an unexpected 1st wish at midnight when I thought you would be already asleep... to a poem that was in its true nature, simple but sincere when I thought you had no more words for me... to a bouquet of lilies sent to the office in the middle of a busy work day... and to my favourite cake that you had thought to order for me.

Maybe I'm a girl

And maybe you're the only man

Who could ever help me

They are all gifts that all the money in the world can never purchase.

Baby won't you help me understand...

So yes... if for some reason, tomorrow starts off bleak and full of doom and glum, with everyday from then on following in its stride, I think I'll be alright.

Today has more than made up for the rest of the year.

~ Maybe I'm Amazed by Jem ~