Reason to believe?

Flaw ~ noun

1. A feature that mars the perfection of something; defect; fault.
2. A defect impairing legal soundness or validity.
3. A crack, break, breach, or rent.

It's scary when the only thing you seem to see in everything and everyone around you are the flaws that lies beneath their surfaces. It's not the best place to be cos then I find that nothing and no one around is perfect.

I know ~ perfection exists only in another place and time. And that as human beings, we have to accept everything and everyone as they are - flaws, warts, farts and all.

I'm not saying that I am without any imperfections. In fact, in all honesty - I would think I am one of the worse made persons existing right now on earth.

So then, why this and why now? Who went and sat on my rose-coloured glasses so that now, everything is black and white?

The world was better when I was the one who was flawed and everyone else was perfect, cos I was different and as such, the things I would never have in life could be written off as damages from the wrong turns I've made.

Or maybe.. just maybe.. I'm tired of chasing the dream, the fantasy ~ that I'm special cos I'm broken but still standing.

Damn it!

For once, I just wanna collapse into a crumpled heap and stay that way.

For once, I don't want the phoenix to rise from the ashes.

Please... give me a reason to stay... and rise up again.