Lame-o

My words are failing me.. and I was once so full of them, rich ones that evoked the heart and the soul...

And because my words are failing me, I have to rely to what I once had..

This was posted over a year ago on another blog life..

Did not make it thru as what i had set out to do yesterday evening. All that's left of me this morning is a dried out Barbsie, with a nasty hangover and the knowledge that i had to take my medication at the end of it all.

Did i disappoint you my friend now that you know Barb is not as strong-willed as you thought she would be? That when it rains too hard, she gives up walking in the rain and seeks shelter even though she is already soaked thru?

I am but another human being, just like you. And when the pain gets too bad, and the cries becomes the tear-less sort, I look for my medication just like any other person would.

Stand there and judge me all you want. Stand there and chastise me till kingdom come. I am sorry if i had disappointed you.

I just asks that you give me time.. time to rehabilitate myself. For once, I do not want to go thru pain without taking pain killers. Nor do I want to trade one addiction for another. So let me go thru the motions of someone whose sands of time is running out, and just let me live and .. let leave.

It's strange that something written over a year ago, still applies today... Goes to show, one never really changes...