The Ballad of a Bitter End

I had no idea how words, made up of 26 lil squiggles could bring about such pain.

I had always thought that to write it all down, was to expunge the psychological tumours before it consumed you.

A Glass full of Bitter has turned out to be a can full of worms.

So fine - I went and probably pushed the envelope... I made the jump. And yes, there was a bloody ferret at the bottom. So take a gun and shoot me. Trust me - you'll be doing me a favour right now cos I do so wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

For I've gone and done it again. Not say what is meant to be but the complete opposite. I sat and waited, knowing that somewhere there is a shoe waiting to drop. And because I cannot stand the wait any longer, I pulled at the string till it broke. Just so the bloody thing would fall.

So you think my silent friend would resign from being one of my boys when he's read A Glass. And that you saw this coming.

And you - you think you should just stay away for my sanity's sake? And you rail at me for not letting you read it, when I allowed the rest of the world to.

Is everyone so pre-occupied with having their say that what I say no longer has meaning or place?

I'm tired. Tired of walking on eggshells.. broken glass and everything else.

I'm tired of being there for everyone when they fuck up royally, yet having only Mandy to turn to when I fuck up.

If I had more guts, I will climb the rail and jump. And even with broken limbs, I would get back up into my apartment, and jump again. Until I can get back up no more.

That is the state of my mind right now.

But who gives a shit. This is just my ballad of a bitter end. And I'm singing it alone. Cos there's no one else about.

It's now a broken mirror.

Do you see what I see?