I’m having a day off from work. And so, it’s a luxury to be at home at 5 pm, drinking my first glass of vodka red bull. Yes – there is a fresh bottle on top of the fridge and another one in the car. Have yet to decide if that one goes to the office or not. But that’s a decision for another day.
But anyways, what have I been doing on my afternoon off? Well, I went and spent some time with my children and my family – keeping them updated on what’s been happening at work and all.
In the process, I found that my lil girl is growing up and growing up fast. And she has to deal with emotions that I wish she had long forgotten; that of one person going away and never coming back.
Her latest run in with this would be of me working odd hours and thus having to leave her at my mum’s for the work week. Plus the fact that her daddy has got a girlfriend.
The former, it will end sometime soon. The latter – it’s something she’s gotta learn to live with if she wants this daddy to stick around, and not disappear like the last.
If there is one thing I want more than anything else this evening on the first evening star I’ll see, is for Lydia not to grow up and have a fate like mine. To have a life full of men who come and go, always saying they’ll be around but always breaking that same promise as well for someone else.
If there is one thing I want more than anything else for Lydia is for her not to feel ever that she is only at best – 2nd best in someone else’s life. Cos we’re people who should not settle for anything less than being the best in everything we do, anyone we placed as best in our lives.
As much as I want all these things not to happen to my lil girl, I see her history repeating itself. And while I can do something within my power to make it stop, I cannot deprive her of whatever short-lived happiness and memories she can build upon.
I know. I shouldn’t mould my lil girl into another me. All boxed up and caged in that when I do step out, I find that there is no real reason for me not to be boxed up and caged in like I was before.
And I so want to teach her a very important lesson in life that I’d wish my mother taught me. To never depend on anyone else but yourself. Cos everyone else is just gonna let you down someday and nothing would ever prepare you for it.
And I want to teach her that no matter how important they say you are to them, and never for you to leave them, they will eventually leave you in the end.
But they say that a mother can only teach so much. Everything else, she has to learn on her own. And unfortunately, this lesson that I want to teach her, falls under the second.
And so, I can only watch helplessly as her lil 6 year old heart will get broken once again. Simply because she wants to be the centre of his world but his world is owned by another.
But anyways, what have I been doing on my afternoon off? Well, I went and spent some time with my children and my family – keeping them updated on what’s been happening at work and all.
In the process, I found that my lil girl is growing up and growing up fast. And she has to deal with emotions that I wish she had long forgotten; that of one person going away and never coming back.
Her latest run in with this would be of me working odd hours and thus having to leave her at my mum’s for the work week. Plus the fact that her daddy has got a girlfriend.
The former, it will end sometime soon. The latter – it’s something she’s gotta learn to live with if she wants this daddy to stick around, and not disappear like the last.
If there is one thing I want more than anything else this evening on the first evening star I’ll see, is for Lydia not to grow up and have a fate like mine. To have a life full of men who come and go, always saying they’ll be around but always breaking that same promise as well for someone else.
If there is one thing I want more than anything else for Lydia is for her not to feel ever that she is only at best – 2nd best in someone else’s life. Cos we’re people who should not settle for anything less than being the best in everything we do, anyone we placed as best in our lives.
As much as I want all these things not to happen to my lil girl, I see her history repeating itself. And while I can do something within my power to make it stop, I cannot deprive her of whatever short-lived happiness and memories she can build upon.
I know. I shouldn’t mould my lil girl into another me. All boxed up and caged in that when I do step out, I find that there is no real reason for me not to be boxed up and caged in like I was before.
And I so want to teach her a very important lesson in life that I’d wish my mother taught me. To never depend on anyone else but yourself. Cos everyone else is just gonna let you down someday and nothing would ever prepare you for it.
And I want to teach her that no matter how important they say you are to them, and never for you to leave them, they will eventually leave you in the end.
But they say that a mother can only teach so much. Everything else, she has to learn on her own. And unfortunately, this lesson that I want to teach her, falls under the second.
And so, I can only watch helplessly as her lil 6 year old heart will get broken once again. Simply because she wants to be the centre of his world but his world is owned by another.
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