Hauntings

Somebody said to me yesterday this “I did read your blog last night and found it particularly sad on some of the things that you have written. You really need to get on with your life barbs, and stop dwelling on the 'house with possibilities', as it seems to be something that is hanging over your head. He obviously has moved on and maybe you should too.”

The truth is, I don't know anyone
who isn't haunted by something,
or someone.

My blog has been described as witty, mind-boggling, eye-opener to new perspectives, dark and twisty, funny but never once as sad. And for this statement to come from a very dear friend, it does somehow make me look at Chemical Shooter in a different light.

It was the one place I went to, to unload everything that as in my head. It was the one place I went to, to say the things that never quite made it out of my mouth. It was the one place that everyone who knows me and care about me go to, to see what’s up with me cos they too have come to realize the real purpose of the Shooter.

And whether we try to slice the pain away
with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet,
our efforts usually fail.

Maybe I’ve done too good a job at keeping my true thoughts hidden away from sight and light, that it has become a part of me. Maybe my intent of decoying the state of life has become a way of life itself.

And it's sad cos the same person who made the statement, is also one of the very rare few who can actually see thru the smokescreen that travels in my lil bag of happies. It's sad, not because he read me wrong on this account, but rather, I realise that he has been nothing less than honest, yet I have probably been everything but.

So, the only way

we can clear out the cobwebs
is to turn a new page,
or put an old story to rest,
finally, finally, to rest.

And I probably wouldn't be able to, for a while to come.

~ All the characters have changed. Only the story remains the same ~