Missing

Yet another strange dream is keeping me awake at 10 minutes to 5 this morning. It's a good thing that I turned in before 9 pm. Nonetheless, the dream was so vivid once again that I'm sitting here, all bundled up from the cold, feeling a deep sense of melancholy.

I miss a lot of things - like laughing out loud, smilling like there is no tomorrow, being engulfed in a big bear hug like I was some lifeline thrown into the tumbling seas.

I could be all dark and twisty by dwelling on the thought that these are things that might never come by again. Or I could be bright and shiny and say, "Hey - at least I had all that."

I have to choose my thoughts very carefully. Some are okay to indulge. Others - we should leave them in the broom closet in a box marked Achtung!

But these are decisions that I should make in the sunlight. Not when the sky is still dark.

So for now.. the dream is sweet.. the dream is safe. It's unreal and a tale of a time gone by. It's where I am everything and everything good happens because of me.

Damnit! I wish I could sleep forever so the dream could be my cocoon.