Dog-Fights

re·luc·tant 

1. Unwilling; disinclined
   
2. Exhibiting or marked by unwillingness
   
3. Offering resistance; opposing.
   

I have a long list of things that I need to either 1) complete or 2) implement. The list started out small but it is growing as we speak. And it's not to say that I do not know how to do them. I'm just putting them down on paper, then folding them in half, and again in half, until it can fit snugly in a corner of my desk.

"I don't understand why you're so reluctant. You're like a fighter-pilot who has got the target locked in. Push the red button!"

It can be exasperating I know. Even I get exasperated with myself just thinking about it. And subconsciously, it is giving me a lot of grief (translate to read: STRESS). My sleeping pattern is again all out of whack, my eczema is flaring up, and half the time I am walking around with my head / mind / consciousness being somewhere else. 

It's really not a lot of things to complete - half of them fall under category (2). But this firecracker just doesn't seem to wanna be lit for some strange reason. And that is what I need to determine, in order to be like a cow and moo-on.

"If I were the chap in Mission Control - I would be yelling my head off at you to bloody push the red button ALREADY. But I'm not, so I am just going sit here and wait for you to come to your senses on your own. But please - you're already locked on. Just press it?"

I'll think about it - that much I can promise you.