In the Quiet Calm

heav⋅en ~ noun

1. The abode of God, the angels, and the spirits of the righteous after death; the place or state of existence of the blessed after the mortal life.
2. A place or state of supreme happiness

As a Christian, from a staunch Catholic family, I naturally believe that Heaven exists ~ It is the ultimate place to end up at. But through our Christian studies, we are also taught that it's not a direct-go-to, that there is a transitionary place that we have to go to first. And that only the very best of those who lived gets a direct-go-to.

Heaven. Hell. Limbo. 

All through life, I have never really sat down and pondered on what Heaven is like. Some say that it has roads paved in gold. Some say that it is where you are restored to the point in time of your life where you were happiest. Some say that your loved ones awaits at the gate to welcome you.

No-one even knows where we're going. 

I have had an experience in today that I really never thought I would have. Not because I didn't think I deserved it, but it's just one of those things that never came up before. And now that it did... like I said in my earlier posting - it's so surreal, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

Or what's waiting for us when we get there. 

It's one of those times in life when you feel as if you know someone inside out, yet not know them at all. What do you do with that? How can you feel your way out of this dark hole when the light at the end of the tunnel keeps shifting? When what your gut says defies all logic, experience, sensibilities and counsel?

Someone said my writing was too creative to be understood. That person was mistaken. It's not creative. It's just way too abstract. Trying to say everything but nothing at all. Cos that's how it is sometimes... you feel like you're having this big thing you wanna shout from the top of the mountain, but that which no one else would understand. Even now, I have my moments of going "WTF?!" Yet, I understand.

One of my fave questions to the LegalBeagle is "Why is Life so difficult?!" and his usual answer to me would be "It's not. It's you who make your own life difficult." And I see the truth in that now. Just as the Bear says "There's always a choice Barbsie." And of course, in making any choices, you accept the consequences and roll with it.

There's never any certainty with this thing we call LIFE. Just as there's no guarantee that if one lives one's life by the Holy Bible, you're certain to go to Heaven. And while certainty may be what I want, wish, hope for - my choice does not allow for it.

All it does allow for now is that my world is right yet again, in a way that for now, no one else can balance it to the T like this one person does. And if I am deemed the fool for being bestest against, then so be it.

But the one thing we can say, with absolute certainty, 

is that there are moments that take us to another place. 

Moments of Heaven on Earth. 

In the last week, and life for the past few years, I have had glimpse of what Hell is. And tried as hard as I may, I have never been able to see what Heaven could be.

I would say today, I had a glimpse of what heaven is.

And maybe for now, that's all we need to know.