On a Dark and Stormy Night...

"The business idea is good. The model it takes on is good. But the partnership is doomed."

This came from my online exchange with the LegalBeagle this afternoon while we were discussing what I have decided to do with this piece of document that I am required by law to have signed. Apparently, it doesn't adequately spell out the true scenario of how things have been functioning and is foresawn to be functioning. And because of that, at some point in time in the future, it would break things down and apart when day sees light.

Being the good and obedient girl that I am, I have made what necessary amendments on advisory and sent it off with a note that expressed how much I have come to hate this piece of document since its creation 5 days ago, and how much I abhor all that it represents.

Business is business, that I know. And I should take my red hat off and replace it with another. Red hats have no place in business. Yet, how can you work with someone or a group of persons, if there is no trust? And that is what I am trying to establish before I go and commit to an act, either way of the line.

It is probably prickling me a whole lot more than it would simply because I know. 

I know to any sane person out there, there is no basis for this person to be entitled to my trust right now, and I am torn between taking that chance and still giving the benefit of doubt, or saying I am drawing the line here ~ which is what that lousy piece of thingy has come to represent. The closest thing I can find to describing this connendrum that one must think I have parked myself into for the sheer joy of having something to do would be this extract from the novel The Reader by Bernhard Schlink:

I wanted simultaneously to understand Hanna's crime and to condemn it. But it was too terrible for that. When I tried to understand it, I had the feeling I was failing to condemn it as it must be condemned. When I condemned it as it must be condemned, there was no room for understanding ... I wanted to pose myself both tasks — understanding and condemnation. But it was impossible to do both.

The philosophies of life that were laid out for me, that fine night earlier on this year haunts me. I guess there is no easy way to do this, other than to come outright and ask ~ What else have you lied to me about, even though you say that was the last of the things I did not really know? 

As much as I like to say I have not been lied to, the truth is: I have been. And my trust, while easily given away, is the hardest thing on earth someone can ever earn back. And was it worth it: on something that is so basic and factual! And though I know and understand the answer behind the "why" even without having to ask, I cannot comprehend why it took you this long to come clean. And if you did only because you had to - we had arrived at the crux and the cat would soon be let out of the bag in another manner with another motive.

It is a very dark night. Especially when I can still hear the anguish in the voice when it let out the words "I wanted to tell you sooner. But I didn't know how to. Or how you would react to it." 

CAN I?
Can I REALLY trust you?
Are you really WILLING NOW to shoulder this responsibility?

Don't get me wrong ~ I AM standing on the side of understanding, not condemnation.