10 things I..

I woke up looking for 10 things that I should be grateful for today.. and here’s the first stab at it:

1) My parents

For relentless being there as my support structure so that I can work my ass off for somebody else.

2) Lydia and Luke
For asking me faithfully everyday “how was work?” They might not know it, but hey – they are the only ones who care enough to ask everyday. Yes – even on Sundays.

3) My former boss
For having pushed me to his limits, and thus raising my own limits without realizing it. Unfortunately, his loss is now someone else’s gain.

4) One half of my friends
For knowing when to leave me be, and for knowing where to look for clues when I cannot be found.

5) The other half of my friends
For knowing that I have nothing to say to them and not to bug me with their own idiosyncrasies and mundane musings about nothing.

6) My neighbours
For providing me my only source of humour of a daily basis. They are currently the only thing that is fixed and constant in my life. Thanks you guys – lord know where I would be without you chaps strutting around in your undies.

And it stopped at there. Yups – could not find even 10 things to be grateful for. *Sheesh*

And here’s the part 2 of it – 10 things that I hate about life right now. It’s gonna be a tall order to stop at 10. But here goes:

1) The Present
The present is stinky and it’s bad for me. Just like durian. It’s enticing, it’s inviting. Seducing even. But hold it the wrong way and it’ll poke your eyes out in a flash. Not only that, go on your way to open one casing after another, and more often than not, it’s empty.

I, I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
Be living in the kingdom of the good and true
And so on

2) The future
Yes – it is possible to hate something that has yet to happen. That’s yet to be shaped. Unfortunately for the future, this person here believes in the concept of extrapolation, and basing it on the past and the present, dear God – I hope and pray that I won’t be here for the future.

But now I think how I was wrong
And you were laughing along
And now I look a fool
For thinking you were on, my side

3) My work
It’s a bit of a toss-up actually. Cos no matter how much I bitch and whine about it, I love the challenge it is giving me. It’s been far too long that I’ve been pushed to such limits. To have to continuously think “out of the box” just cos it’s one fire to fight after another. However, I think the winning side would be on hate cos I’ve inhaled far too much smoke. I’d rather it be tobacco smoke.

Sometimes
It's hard to know where I stand
It's hard to know where I am
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand

4) Dust-bunnies
I hate them dust-bunnies who are creeping up to bite me in the arse. Yeah – it’s happening. And try as I may to keep them at bay, by sweeping them under again, it’s my damn rug at the end of the day. So yeah. Definitely deserving a spot here.

But sometimes
I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time
Where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme, a soundbite

5) Conundrums
I hate the fact that I cannot speak what is on my mind. Not at work. Not at home. Not with anyone. Not on my blog. Not even with myself. How the hell did I walk myself into such a corner that everything is now hidden so far beneath words that are so far from the truth?!

Nothing left inside this old cathedral
Just the sad lonely spires
How do you make it right?

6 - 9) The F-Words
And that would be fear, familiarity and friends. It’s shitty for a person like me, where patterns are gratefully welcomed with open arms, to be in a state of the unknown and unclear. I hate rollercoaster rides. And it is this Fear that I despise.

And because I have a fear of the unknown, I develop Familiarities. But then again, one doesn’t want to get too familiar with all things. Cos then you would always think twice about up-setting things.

And last but not least, this only happens with Friends.

While we’re at this, we might as well throw in Fuck cos Lord knows one should desperately hate it when one is not getting any in the right sense of the word. Being fucked in the ass each time by your bosses is a totally different story altogether. But definitely another reason to hate it.

Is it any wonder that I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right

10) Breathing
I hate breathing. Life was much more tolerable when you’re numb and everything is a “go-through-the motions” state of things. Breathing means acknowledging that you’re alive. And when you face up to that reality, you’re no longer in a vacuum. And that’s when things start to affect you, whether you like it or not.

Oh, these days
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed

So there – 10 to the T! And it wasn’t that difficult after all.

It’s probably all foreign to you the reader. But then again, know me well enough and you would know what I’m saying. Or rather not saying.

Oh, but you try

It’s amazing isn’t it – what a mojito can do? *LoL*

~ Is it any wonder by Keane ~