Learning to breathe

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I woke up this morning to a massive panic attack. The kind where you're absolutely conscious of the fact that it's a panic attack and not something that could kill you. I just had to run. Bolt. Made a dash for it. So I went and sat by the pool, watching the city come to life. To think and clear my head.

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

I had absolutely no reason to feel this way. The choked suffocated feeling. Cos yesterday was a great day!

Breathing ~ something that we do from the point of birth to the day we die. It defines our existence as a living thing. Without us doing it, we're dead. Yet, we become aware of it only when there's a remotest chance that our air-flow can be cut off.

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl

As a dear friend said over lunch today, we are our own worst enemies ~ setting up impossible hurdles to jump over and such. Telling ourself that we CAN'T make the jump. That we WILL fall and get hurt. But she also said that it is when we consciously acknowledge the fact that we are our own worst enemies, we begin our journey of healing and open ourselves to new possibilities.

I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So yeah.. maybe it was right ~ the prayer I said in church this morning... when I realised that I wanted to consciously be aware of my breathing again... that there might be a reason for me to want to...

I'm finding that You
And you alone can break my fall