My bad

This post tentamounts to a sheepish public apology to my dearest friend. It's not a necessity... but well... It wasn't fair to have ruined his night. While I didn't do it intentionally, by believing that my presence would not be missed, was a slight itself. And somehow, I keep messing things up.

And to think that not two weeks ago, another dear friend proved me wrong in my beliefs. Why do I find it so hard to accept that good things and people can happen to me? Why do I sometimes work so hard to keep myself from all these good things?

If only I could just remember the words of this song..

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated,
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles.

Stand where you are.
We let all these moments pass us by.

It's amazing where I'm standing,
There's a lot that we can give.
This is ours just for the moment,
There's a lot that we can give.

Nobody likes to lose control. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. Still there are times when it just gets away from you, when the world stops spinning, when you realize your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. It's scary as hell.

Except there's an upside to the free fall.

It's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

I should not let my issues get in my way of living a good and happy life.

Maybe the rules of intimacy are something we have to define for ourselves.