So this is how it goes..

The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost.

My god-ma has been telling me for the last 1 year, of how, one fine day, someone's gonna come along and make me see things from "glass half empty" to "glass half full". And that I am not going to end up at 50 years, with a cat for company.

We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'.

I have been laughing it off. No one person could possibly be so refreshingly different, to make me change my mind. That I am no longer that young, naïve, wide-eyed gal who believes that guys can have pure intentions and follow the right way of doing things.

Afterall, we grow up and we all learn that fairy-tales are what they are meant to be - kept sealed under vacuum pressure in a container, buried 6 feet under. And that if there are indeed fairies walking amongst us, they all have horns and a spikey tail hidden beneath the shroud of pure innocence.

Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons.

But then, again, every once in a while, even though we know that there is a devil inside, we still go where we have repeatedly told ourselves we will not go.

We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant ~ don't put off till tomorrow, what you can do today.

And that in a nutshell, explains the amount of agonizing that has been taking place the last few days. Over 1 dinner date.

As ridiculous sounding as it maybe, it has been a long while since dinner was actually contextualised as a date. Maybe it was the auto-denial mechanism kicking it, calling it meeting up for coffee or drinks instead. But this was actually put as what it was – a date! And that just scared the bejibbers out of me!

The thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true.

So yeah, with my ripped jeans (yes – I did wear em) and my brave, “this-doesn’t-faze-me-look” on, it was off into the jungle. And by golly ~ it was actually very pleasant an experience, without any alcohol or nicotine! And also without any expectations, or realisation that all the other person wants to do is get into your pants.

I am glad that I didn’t let my cold feet get the better of me, that I actually gave life a shot and not be all dark and twisty.

Cos knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

At least, even if it’s only the moment or today, looking at the glass “half full” is in itself a refreshing change on its own.