Up in the air

This post is inspired by a chap named Jack and a fuzz-ball affectionately called Grover.

Apparently, I am self-destructive and I have issues deeper than the river Nile. Okay. Maybe not the river Nile.. but well issues.

Why?

Cos I go and make things run over by the reindeer and such. Just because.

I have to put it down as a statement before I go to sleep with a smile on my face and the lingering scent of something I've never smelt before on the side of my shoulder.

1) I am not self-destructive.

• Just because I know what I want, what is good for me, what I can handle and what I can't, doesn't mean that I go around with a bubble over my head that says "Watch out! Time bomb!" Fine ~ given that said person has been on the other end of my blade before, but then again - it was not self-destruction.

2) I do not have issues.

• Okay.. maybe I have tiny bumbs in life that I occassionally carry around like a sack of potatoes. But they are not issues. In these past weeks, I don't think my thoughts have been any clearer on where I want to be. Fine - it's been all "I" but then again, we can't possibly speak of a cat that has yet to exist right?

So yeah.. just cos I envy you and your ability to compartmentalise your life into neat lil boxes, doesn't mean I have to be a walking time-bomb. I mean ~ hey! I think I had more fun, smiles and laugh in the last hour than I would have had at Gobo. And it was well worth it.

This is not a mean post. It's just neutralising the maggots in my head before they become.. well.. maggots. *grin*

I still maintain that one soul out there would be better off if he bit the bullet, stepped up to the plate and have things the way it's meant to be. Afterall, AirSupply didn't write the song Two Less Lonely People for nothing.

I fight the fights that I know I can win. Cos I've lost far too much in life to go on losing.

But I shall take your words into heed. And like you said, sleep on it for tonight.

The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're thrown a curve ball, we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to plan B, and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly what we need. But sometimes, sometimes what we need is a new plan.

Maybe what I need is a new plan.

AND I do not have a pseudo boyfriend. Lord knows if I did, there won't be that many chemical shooters to chase down.