Mother's Day

My phone has been beeping non-stop today since 7.45 am. Apart from the usual "Whatcha doing?", most of them have been "Happy Mother's Day!" wishes.

I think this is the first time in 6 years of motherhood that this day has truly gotten to me. I used to be big on these types of occassions - fighting with my brother as to who gets to get what for Mum (and it was alway either a nightdress or facial cream). I remember when I started working, gifts became more lavish - gold earrings, a fancy dinner, a branded handbag. And then it all started to wane.

Part of it is probably because I realised that no matter what I did on this day of commemoration, it could never profoundly show my mum how much she means to me. And as a result of it, to do something, anything at all, would dilute the meaning of it for us.

Another part of it is probably because I became a mother myself, and the journey todate has not been an easy one. As such, I find today to be just another day.

All the world over, restaurants are booked full and Hallmark has made tonnes of money once again from today.

I know I sound mean-spirited and of course, dark and twisty. As cliche as the next line is going to be, it has to be said. I don't need a day in the calendar to tell me how to show my mum how much she's loved. I don't need a day in the calendar for you to remember the sacrifices that has been made for Lydia and Luke by yours truly.

I see now why some years when we took Mum out to dinner and watch her open the gifts we chose with care, her reaction had always had an air of falseness in it. It's not cos Mum did not love it all. But it's cos just watching us go thru another day unscathed and unharmed was enough for her. And she did not know how to express that to us without sounding ungrateful.

So yeah... the phone just beeped again. And it can continue beeping right thru to midnight. I shall just have to come to terms that it's the way of the world, and that everyone means well.

In years to come, I may not remember who wished me today or the years before this. I may also not remember the poems that was also sent, telling me that I'm one of the greatest on earth just cos I'm a mum.

But I will remember this lil yellow piece of paper with a lil odd-shaped red heart stuck on it. Handmade with ineligible scribbles and many eraser marks. This lil yellow piece of paper that's stuck on my fridge by Lydia.

And for that, I do not need 13th May to be reminded that I'm a mum and that I'm one of the best in the world.

For I have my lil yellow piece of paper, for today and everyday from now on.

And becos of it, it's Mother's Day everyday for me, every moment when my angels run into my arms, telling me they love me.

When was the last time you ran into your mum's arms and hugged her - really, really hugged her?

Cos that would probably mean a whole lot more to her than anything else you can give her, today. And everyday.